acceptis incommodis
by cerebrumversatile
Summary: Twilight, with a pairing A/B, E/J. All from Bella's POV
1. Chapter 1

Forks was going to be Hell, I 'm pretty sure of it, but Renée deserved some time alone with Paul. So here I am, in the most depressing town of this country, here I am going to be stuck in a rainy routine, my skin used to sun was going to get wet.

Charlie was trying his best, we never were close, but I can say he's trying, it makes feel safe, welcomed. When you're coming back to a father you barely talked to, you feel like a burden, I hope this feeling will stop. He gave me a truck "to go to school"...two things One I love it, not the truck, but the intention, the idea of it, being independent not burdening him with driving, Two I don't wanna go to school starting over is so hard, in the middle of the year in a new town. But since I have no choice then Be it.

First day was ….odd... in a good way, I guess. Lunch time came, I sat on a table with Jessica, Mike, Angela and Sam. We were chatting, actually I was listening to them chat, until I felt the urge to turn around, like my body was craving for me to, so I did.

What can I say, I saw the most beautiful people I've ever seen, one of them more than I even thought possible, she was tiny, short brown hair, she looked my way, My body shivered under her gaze, she on the other hand looked like she was struggling, she took her eyes away from me. I felt cold.

"It' the Cullen's family" said Jessica

"Who is she?" I asked, looking at the brunette, hoping she'd look back, she didn't

"Alice Cullen, the blond next to her is Rosalie, and her boyfriend Emmett, the tall boy is Edward and his boyfriend Jasper" said Mike

" They are not blood related, Carliste Cullen, seems to be holding a foster house and a dating website" laughed Sam

"Is Alice with anyone?" I asked surprised by my own bluntness.

"Not that we know of, but then again we don't really know anything about them" answered Angela

Single, then I hope...I mean ….I don't know what I mean, I'm just relieved that she's not in love with anyone...Don't ask me why I am not ready to answer.

I kept throwing side glances, to their table which they seemed to notice, especially Edward who was looking at me, as if trying to figure me out. I wish he couldn't... I wish _she _would look at me. She doesn't.

Biology class, was starting in five minutes, and Mike was telling me something about a football game or baseball, I wasn't really listening, in fact since I saw _Alice_ I wasn't really doing anything, it's like I was put on hold until I saw her again.

When I enter the classroom, I heard nothing but silence, and eyes turned towards me. Awesome, I'm late.

"Well, I take you're Bella Swan, daughter of chief Swan and new in my classroom"

I nodded " Yes, sir"

"Fine, well, welcome Bella, take a seat, please, next to miss Cullen, and try to be on time from now on"

I wanted to hug my teacher, a wave of joy rushed over me as I was taking a seat next to her, she on the other hand didn't seem thrilled, she looked pained, almost disgusted.

"Hi" I said

She just nodded on my direction, turned her head and kept staring at the window, I was starting to feel self conscious, what is wrong with me?

An hour passed, without her acknowledging me, I was angry at her, sad, and revolted at myself to let her, a girl I didn't know hurt me so much. As soon as the bell rang, she literally flew out of the class.

So much for wishful thinking.

I went to the administration, to get my official schedule, she was there, obviously irritated.

"You surely have another class, I can intend to, anything really"

What class, what is she talking about? And why do I care so much?

"No, I'm sorry you'll have to stick with your biology class, miss Cullen"

That hurts, I wanted to tell her something, anything really, just talk to her.

"Fine" she stormed out, and I still couldn't muster a single word.

When I got home, that night, my thoughts were filled with her, she invaded every bit of my mind, and heart. Why wouldn't she want to be around me? Sure I am not even close to meet the standards of her family beauty, but she didn't even knew me, yet she was avoiding me. Maybe I wasn't worthy of her time, maybe she figured it out faster than anyone else. Still, I was desperate to be close to her.

I do not believe in things such as love at first sight, you have to be mentally damaged or French, in order to believe that you can fall in love just by one sight, one simple stare, fall under her spell as fast as under her gaze. And since I am not French, I take it I am mentally damaged, because, God be my witness what I feel for that girl, I can't even make sense of it myself, but it sure feels strong, stronger than I ever felt, a love that strong, that I am not sure I can carry it. It scares me. Even more now that I see she despise me.

Tomorrow I'll talk to her, I don't care tomorrow I'll do it. I fell asleep, the picture of Alice, drawn in the inside of my eyelids.

Next day, came faster than I expected, I was ready, brave like a soldier going to war and equally terrified. Alice, wasn't at school that day, or the day after for that matter, she disappeared for a few days. Few agonizingly long days, in which the Cullen's kept throwing weird looks in my way. It was starting to get on my nerves.

"Hello, my name is Edward" I jumped...God how did he get here without me noticing!

"I'm sorry didn't mean to scare you" he said, he seemed sincere and guilty

"It's okay" I said

He stared at me, and smiled "You're Bella, right?"

God he must think I am a basket case "Yeah, sorry, I am Bella Swan, nice to meet you Edward"

He was handsome, flawless, his skin was pale and perfect, the most beautiful man I ever laid eyes on, still nothing compared to his sister.

"So Bella, how are you enjoying Forks so far?" he asked, and he looked like he was actually interested.

"I don't know, It's different from Jacksonville, but I think I'll get used to it"

"So you're from Jacksonville?"

"Yes, I lived there with my mother but she got married recently"

"And you don't like her new husband?" It's like this guy wanted the story of my life.

"No, no it's not that I just thought, they might want to be alone together, you know"

"I understand, that's nice of you" he concluded "And do you enjoy living with your father?"

I was taken aback by this question, asked by a guy I barely knew, he must of sensed my discomfort

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, it's just you're not easy to read, it makes you interesting"

I looked at him, and felt like, he cared, is it a weird thing to say? It is. It's just that I don't know..

"No, it's okay, no harm done" I smiled "Where's your sister? if you don't mind me asking"I couldn't resist anymore.

"Which one?" he smiled, I know he knows I'm talking about Alice, but he enjoys teasing me apparently.

"The only one I know" I answered

"Alice, she, she has migraines, and sometimes, they're strong enough to make her stay home" he answered.

Alice is sick _My Alice_ is sick, wait My Alice? Where did that come from?

"Is she going to be Okay?" I sounded as alarmed as I felt.

"Yes, she is don't worry, she's always fine, plus she's not sick enough to stop driving me crazy at home, so yes she's fine" he smiled "You care about her don't you?" he asked.

"I didn't even spoke to her" I said

" That wasn't my question" he smiled "but it's okay, you'll talk to her soon I"m sure" He said, and I believed him.

I started to think about what he said, Alice driving him crazy, it's hard to imagine her at home, I realized how little I knew her. It made me sad.

"As much as I love our conversation Bella, I have to go, please don't be a stranger around me, I like you I hope we can be friends"

"I'm sure we will" I said convinced.

The day ended, I got home.

As I got in my biology class, a week exactly after, my disastrous first face to face with Alice, I saw her, she was back. I walked to my sit ready to tell her, everything I had in mind, but as soon as her eyes fell on mine, every word I've ever learn was forgotten. Golden eyes, were looking at me.

"Hello, I am Alice Cullen" she said

"I know" is all that came out of my mouth.

she smiled to me "And you're Bella Swan, but I suppose you know that too right?" she laughed.

Is it possible to blush to death? No, I thought so. Jesus !get a grip, talk to her! Still no word out of my mouth

"I am sorry for the way I acted, last week, I wasn't feeling very well I had -"

"Migraines" I finished for her, rather unsubtly, thanks brain I owe you really!

She laughed, for the second time, her laugh is my favorite sound in the world, her voice too, actually any sound she'll make will be worshiped by me.

"So how are you enjoying Forks so far?" she asked

"Your brother, Edward, asked the same question, like exactly the same one" I said in disbelief.

"Well, did he got an answer?" she said teasingly

Okay teasing, family thing, noted.

"I told him, that I will get used to it, eventually"

"What do you think about the weather?"

"You're talking about the weather?" she nodded "I don't like cold, I miss sunny Jacksonville honestly"

Her face turned incredibly sad, I wanted to take back what I said, I'll love rain if it makes you happy!

"Yes, I get it" she said her face returning to no expression at all, and started with our science project.

We won a golden onion, if I were brave enough I would tell her, to keep it, it suited her eyes, but I am not. Alice was currently walking me to my locker.

"So, if you're with your father just to give space to your mother, isn't it too hard for you to adjust living with your father?"

I looked at her, shocked. She smiled.

"Edward asked, right?" I nodded "Oh, well, next time I'll make sure to ask you first" she laughed.

"I didn't answer him" I said, as if it was supposed to make her feel better.

" You must think we're crazy" she smiled shyly, with a look of a guilt.

"It's a bit hard, but Charlie and I we get along, and he's my dad, so I love him anyway"

"You didn't have to answer"

"I wanted to" I smiled "You know the first time I saw you your eyes were black, and now they're gold" I stated

She looked completely taken aback "eyes don't change color, it must be the lights, anyway I have to go" Just like that she disappeared from my sight

Damn you! Damn mouth!

Alice was nowhere to be seen for the rest of the day, and I searched for her, it's okay I guess, at least we're making progress, I mean we talked. Weird thing is I can't get enough of her, few words make me crave for a few more and then a lot more. It's like an addiction really.

I was trying to read a bit, lying on my truck, the Cullen's were on the other side of the parking, talking to each other, I wanted to go over there take Alice's hand and take her away with me, cheesy much? I was so deep in my daydreaming that I failed to notice the screaming tires, in less than a second I found myself in Alice's arm while she was still resting the other one on the car that almost hit me.

We were only a breath apart, she was looking straight in my eyes, and I fainted.

Next thing I know, I wake up in a hospital bed with Charlie next to me.

"Hey, you're awake, I was worried sick about you"

A man entered the room "Hello, I am Doctor Cullen, you're fine Bella, just fainted of shock but no damages"

"Thanks to you daughter" I said

"What?" asked Charlie

"Alice saved my life she -"

"pushed you just in time" finished Mr Cullen

_NO, she stopped a car with her hand, with just one, catching me with the other, not to mention how fast she got by my side."_

"Yes, she did"

Charlie was waiting for me in the car, I gathered my stuff and started walking to the exit, when I spotted Dr Cullen, Alice and Edward talking.

"I couldn't let her die" said Alice

"You did the right thing" said Edward

"Yes, but now you'll have to be more careful, and I think we should continue this conversation later" he added as he turned to me.

"Can I talk to you, please" I asked Alice

"Edward would you come home with me, Alice you have your car?" asked Dr Cullen

"Yes, I do" she answered

So here I am alone with Alice, who just saved my life.

"How did you do it?" I asked

"Do what?"

"Stop the car, with your hand"

"No one can do that Bella, you must be confused you hit your head pretty hard" she smiled

"I am not crazy, I know what I saw"

She looked like, she would give anything to see me let it go...

"Can't you just say thanks and leave it there?" she asked harshly

"Thanks, it's just that... I don't know"

"You should go, your father is waiting for you" with that she left.

Have I blown any chance of having Alice in my life, I mean come on she saves my life and I go Colombo on her, but come on it was like a movie thing, a superhero movie like, where the hero saves the girl before kissing her, yes I know all my thoughts about Alice ends with a kiss, so what? Can you blame me?

I got home, I fell on my bed and slept like a baby, I was exhausted, it had been a hell of a day, at some point during the night I woke up to be faced with Alice's face, as soon as my eyes opened she disappeared. Was it a dream, pretty sure it wasn't I saw her, I'm sure I did, didn't I?

The next morning, I was really late for my classes, too late to search for _her, _I went through my classes, well decided to get my old self back, Alice has obviously no interest in me, if anything I upset her every time I spoke to her. I was getting ready for a field trip with our science teacher.

Mike was standing, next to my truck, I suppose waiting for me.

"Hi, Bella..." I didn't hear the rest I just spotted Alice, and she was looking in my direction, not at me, but in my general direction.

"So would you go to the dance with me?"

_Oh God!_

"I can't Mike, I am sorry, I have to go to Jacksonville"

"Can't you go another week-end?"

"No I'm sorry, it's a non-exchangeable ticket, but you should ask Jessica"

"Erm, Okay fine, well OK, bye"

"Bye"

Alice was smiling, when Mike, went away, I know he's a nice guy, but I'm not really in public events, especially not the ones that involves dancing.

I was walking in the areas of the plantation, with Mr Jones telling us what there is to know about plants reproduction, all really fascinating, really...

"So, you're heading to Jacksonville?" said Alice joining my side

"Erm, what? How do you-"

"I heard you talking to Mike"

"Yeah I am going to-" just like that I slipped, and felt a strong arm holding me.

"Can you at least try and be careful" she said harshly

I was kind of out of it, blaming myself for slipping, but the point is I couldn't seem to do anything right when she was around, fortunately I was saved by Jessica...

"Guess who just asked me out to the dance?"she said joyfully

I looked over at Alice, who seemed to be struggling as always, and I left with Jessica, didn't even say goodbye, all I wanted to do was get away from the pain, of her not loving me. Wait I mean liking me, I mean wanting me as much as I wanted her. All I could see in her eyes was regrets, and it's all I've seen since the day she saved my life. Maybe, she did regret saving my life, maybe she still thinks I'm worthless, Hell! I think I'm worthless why would she believe I am anything but?

When the tour of the plantation was finally over, I went out before everyone, well not everyone obviously Alice was there, I don't know if she was following me or the other way around, but what I do know is she keeps crossing my way unexpectedly, and even though every time we spoke it ended weirdly I was always happy to talk to her again, not exactly happy, more like satisfied, more like an addict who just had a shot.

"I don't think we should be friends Bella"

"Look, I don't get you, sometimes you're friendly then cold, I just don't understand you, if you regret saving my life so much just say it and let's get this over with" I didn't know why I blurted all of this out, it word came crashing down without me knowing.

"You think I regret saving your life"

"No I know you do"

"Well, then Bella Swan, you sure don't have the faintest idea of -"she was cut off by Edward

"Bella, you're riding with us?"

"No our bus is full" answered Alice for me

Not gonna lie, it blows, it's like I was dying to get close to her, but every time I tried, to get through her walls, it seemed I made them stronger. So I climbed in the second bus, resigned to not be able to be her friend nor to get over her. Needless to say, I wasn't even considering being more than her friend anymore.

Few days passed by, days in which Alice gracefully ignored me, just like she ignored anyone else really, just her and her family, but I couldn't bring myself to be fine with it.

Edward came to sit with me, in the library..

"Hello Bella, How are you?"

"Fine, you?"

"Fine, I am a bit worried though, Alice told me you thought she regretted saving your life"

"Did she?"

"Yes, don't blame her, she tells me everything, I am her brother after all, she can't hide anything from me" he smiled

"Okay" I didn't know how to answer that

"Anyway, I wanted to tell you that you were wrong, Alice never regretted saving you and never will, in fact she would do it again in a heart beat"

Okay, Alice didn't regret saving me, but then what's her problem with me. What have I done to upset her that much? To have her hating me?

"May I ask what you're thinking?" said Edward. I must've zoned out on him

"It's just I don't get your sister"

"And it bothers you"

"Yes, I mean no, what do you want to know exactly?"

"Nothing, I told you Bella I'd love to be your friend, and I just want to make you feel better"

"That's nice of you Edward, but I am fine"

"Okay, I just want to tell you Alice, she's not a mean person, she's actually one of the nicest and most selfless persons I've ever known, and I am not saying that because she's my sister"

"I never thought she was mean" I said

"Okay, well Bella, I have to leave, but I am sure everything will work out soon"

"Bye"

What will work out? Me and Alice? As friends? As more? I have no idea, but I feel slightly better to know that something will work out. It's like whatever happens between her and me I carry hope that one day she'll want me as I want her.

I finally came to terms with it I am in love with Alice Cullen.

Lunch time, was always a weird period for me, where I really had to mingle, and I don't like it. I've never been good at socializing. I was lost in my thoughts when I accidentally made an apple fall, luckily it was caught by the graceful hand of Alice. Same Alice that I was desperately trying to understand.

"Hey, here" she said giving me the apple

"Erm, thanks sorry, I'm always a bit clumsy"

"I can see that, I wanted to apologize for earlier, I do not regret saving your life Bella I want you to know that"

"Erm, okay thank you, but are you ever going to tell me how you did it?"

"I would like to hear your theories first"

"Honestly, I thought about everything Kryptonite, radioactive spiders" I smiled

"Those are superheros, what about the bad guys, they can do pretty good stuff too"

"True, but you're not one of the bad guys, you can't be"

"Will you let it go?"

"No, I just want to understand" I said pleadingly

"Then you should enjoy being disappointed"

"I don't think I will be, I think that for some reason you don't want to be my friend-"

"I never said that, I said we shouldn't be friends, not that I didn't want to"

"So you want to be my friend"

"Yes, but if you're a smart person, you will stay away from me"

"I've never been a smart person"

she chuckled, I made her chuckle, feels awesome.

"So, you want to be my friend Bella Swan?"

"Yes, thus I am asking you if you'd like to come to the beach tomorrow"

"The beach?"

"Yes, bunch of the school people are going, so tomorrow is a day as good as any to talk"

"What beach would that be?"

"La push, I guess"

"I can't tomorrow, I am sorry, when it gets sunny, all my family goes hiking, it's a tradition thing really"

"Oh, okay" I said, trying to hide my disappointment

"But, we will talk, trust me I know" she said

And I believed her.

When I was around Alice, I felt the urge to touch her, to be with her, not to be with her like hangout, no it was more than that like , all my being needed her. I read somewhere that in Greek mythology there was a belief that a long time ago, humans were created by pair, they were attached, body and soul, and never separated. And this made them perfect, because they were created perfect, so they stopped praying, Zeus became madly angry at them and separated them, so they'll loose their perfection and start needing him again. That's why until today people keep looking for the other half. Well, I guess that when I am around Alice I feel like she could be my other half, which is crazy because I don't know her, but I need her.

The day at La push was becoming slowly impossible, I love Jess and Angie, but they can't stop talking about boys and shopping, fortunately Jacob arrived, he's the son of Sam, Charlie's best friend. When we were young Jacob and I used to be very close, and now that I'm back I feel we still are.

"Hey Bella"

"Hi Jake, how are you?"

"Fine, you?"

"Great, I was hoping you would come walk with me"

"Yeah of course"

Quick goodbye to the girls, and here I am with Jake, he is the only true friend I have in this town, so I felt comfortable around him.

"So what's going on in that head of yours Bella?"

"You know stuff" I answered playfully

"What kind of stuff?"

"Stuff"

"Okay, I heard that Cullen saved your life"

"Hum, news travel fast in this town"

"Faster than you'll believe" he laughed

"Yes, Alice saved my life"

"I was going to ask you to stay away from them, but now I don't know anymore" he smiled

"Why would you ask me to stay away from them in the first place, I asked curious"

"You know how persistent legends are in my family"

"Yes, what does it have to do with anything"

"Well, Dad said that we are descendants of wolves, that our blood is hot, and that we protect this town from the cold ones, don't laugh, I know it may sound weird but that's how I was raised, and the Cullen they are supposed to be cold ones"

"Hum okay, and the cold ones are the bad guys, right and the wolves the good guys, I got that right?"

"You're right laugh it off, still, if you think about it, they act like bad guys" he said

"What! Alice saved my life" I said disbelievingly

"Yes, I know that's why I am a bit confused about her, but if you think about it, they don't mingle, they stay together all the time, they're not very friendly"

"How would you know that, you don't even come to our school" I said smiling

"You're right, but go ahead and deny it" he laughed

"Okay, you're right, so what they don't like people, neither do I, but I'm still a good guy I hope"

"Yeah, yeah okay I'll leave it! Just promise be to be careful around them, don't trust them"

_If only you knew, what I would be willing to do for them, for her_

"Fine, so any girlfriend in that school of your Jake?" I teased

"Funny I was going to ask you, a boyfriend?"

"I'll answer if you do, I asked first"

"Okay, fine then No, none, you?"

"Jake, If I told you I'd rather have a girlfriend than a boyfriend would it be bad?"

_I can't believe I'm doing this, but at some point I had to come out to someone_

"No, I'll just ask you if you have a girlfriend?" he smiled

"That's it, it doesn't bother you more than that?"

"Oh no it does, it means I can't have you, but at least I didn't loose you to any competition" he laughed

"Do you think Charlie would react as good as you did?"

"Bella, Charlie loves you to pieces, so trust me he wouldn't like your boyfriends or your girlfriends but he will love you no matter who you bring home" he smiled

"Thanks Jake, you're my only friend in this town"

"You must get pretty lonely then at school"

"No it's okay, I attract a lot of attention, being new in town, and if I want to talk Edward is usually here"

"Edward as in Cullen?"

"Yes, not that I talk to him on purpose, but when he talks to me, I feel like I can you know open up"

"So much for being careful around them"

"Come on! I didn't tell him anything really, I don't know talking to you seems more natural" I said

"Glad to hear that I am the man of your life, as in best friend of course"

"Yeah!your place for sure" I said " and thanks Jake" I said truthfully

"For what?"

"Being here, talking, not judging, I couldn't hope for a better friend"

We talked and laughed for a little while longer, it was nice just being myself for a while, not try to socialize with the school crew or being completely and utterly hypnotized by Alice.

Saturday night Angela and Jessica convinced me to go shopping and have dinner with them, so here I was watching Angie try her 20th dress, and daydreaming about being anywhere else really.

We were heading to the restaurant, when I saw a little Quilleutes boutique, I told the girls I'll go check it out and then join them.

The boutique had a quite unique smell, as I walked through the shelves, I couldn't bring myself to choose a book, so I ended up buying two bracelets. When I got out of the shop, I heard footsteps following me, I tried to ignore them, but they kept following me, I was growing more and more scared.

"Hey, sweet heart, stop we have candy" said one

_GROSS! Keep walking_

"Come on don't run away" said another

In what felt like seconds, they were surrounding me, saying that I was scared, was the understatement of the year. They were getting dangerously close to me, when we heard a car.

_Alice!_

Alice got out of the car

"Bella get In the car!" she said without looking at me.

I never thought that her face, could express so much anger, I refused to leave her alone, how could such a tiny human being do anything against three grown man, and they seemed to share my doubts.

I still didn't move.

"Oh sweet little thing came to rescue her friend"

"I advice you to get out of my sight and fast, and leave chief Swan daughter alone" she said fiercely.

"Or what?"

"Or I'll make you regret the day you crossed my path" she said moving towards them.

I was standing next to the car, I saw the quick change in their expressions as she got closer. And slowly backing away.

As soon as I saw she was okay, and coming back to the car, I got in. When she got in she was still fuming, not that she was controlling it, her body language advised me to not say anything until she spoke, which she did thirty seconds after she started the engine.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, thanks to you"

"Did they touch you"

"No, you arrived just in time"

She was driving insanely fast, I was getting scared; even though I was learning that as long as I was with her I was safe.

"What did they tell you?"

She was asking all these questions without looking at me.

"Erm, I don't remember exactly, can you please slow down"

The car slowed as soon as the words escaped my mouth.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you" she said meeting my eyes for the first time tonight

"It's fine" I said shivering

"You're cold" she stated

We both reached for the heater at the same time, and when my hand met hers, it was so cold, as cold as ice and soft, so soft. Electricity surged through my body as I pulled away.

"Your hands are so cold"

"Yes, I'm sorry, I have bad circulation"

Silence filled the car again, and I wanted to break it, so much, I wanted to talk to her. The proximity was driving me crazy.

"You seem to always be there when I'm in trouble. I don't know how to thank you"

"You seem to attract danger" she smiled

"Yeah, sorry" I said

"Don't you dare apologize, for something you don't have control over" she said

"Erm, okay"

"Are you hungry?" she asked

"It's okay, I'll fix something when I'm home" I said not wanting to bother her

"non sense, I'm taking you to dinner, my treat, you deserve it after what you just went through"

"You do not have to do that"_ but I want you to_

"Are you refusing to share a dinner with me, Miss Swan" she smiled looking at me.

"I wouldn't dare" I smiled and she laughed "thanks for everything Alice"

She parked the car, and we were walking to the dinner. She took my hand in hers, it felt like heaven, but she took it away as fast as she moved it towards me.

"Sorry, I know I'm cold" she said apologetically

"It's fine" I sutured _my hands are only cold because yours aren't on them._

We were sitting in comfy seats as a waitress came to take our orders.

"Can I take your order?"

"Yes, I'll have a burger, and a coke"

"And you?" she asked Alice

"Nothing thank you"

"Are you sure?" asked the waitress

"yes thank you" answered sweetly Alice

Here I was, alone with the woman I was in love with. And she didn't wanna eat anything, actually, I've never seen her eat anything.

"Alice, can I ask you something, but please don't be mad"

She looked like what I've just said pained her.

"Bella, I wanna apologize, I know I wasn't my best self with you and I am truly sorry, about it. I will stop running away, or being harsh. I will behave. So ask away"

"No, it's okay. But please tell me what's your deal?"

"What's my deal?"

"Yes, I mean your mood swings, the fact that you stop cars with one hand, and scare guys away, and trust me, I feel horrible to ask, I know you saved my life, twice and I should let it go"

She chuckled "Can I offer you a deal?"

"Okay"

"Let's say that, instead of giving you an answer, right now, I'll give you a promise of the entire truth in a near future"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes" I said without hesitation

"Okay, so Bella, I promise you that soon enough, you will not have to ask, you'll know the truth"

"How do you know?"

She smiled "Have I ever broke a promise?" she asked

"I don't know, you never promised me anything"

"Okay, so I will rely on your trust"

"You're not giving me answers tonight are you?"

"Not tonight, Tonight I just wanna get to know you, I want to make sure you're safe, and leave heavy subjects for lighter days"

She had me, I wouldn't argue with her, I loved her too much to deny her anything she asked for.

"Okay, fine."

And it was indeed a light night, filled with laughs, she eased the tension between us, she eased the pressure on my shoulders, eased the fears, she made a dark night turn into a bright night.

She drove me home, walked me to my door, and I had to gather every bit of will, I've ever had to not jump in and kiss her.

"Goodnight Bella, and promise me to not get in trouble" she smiled

"Goodnight Alice, I promise I'll try"

"I'll take what I can get" she smiled and headed back to her car.

I watched her drive away, I went to the living room and told Charlie about what Alice did for me, I wanted him to know, he already loved her for saving my life once, now he just worships her. And the thought of my dad loving her made me feel warm.

I went to my room, and went on the INTERNET. Alice said I will find out her secret, so here I am searching what do I know, she doesn't eat, is quick, is strong, is cold, is related to the cold ones, her eyes change colors. After several hours of research, there was no more doubt in my mind.

I know her secret, I know what she is. And I can't wrap my mind around it.

_A VAMPIRE_

The next morning I parked my car, and waited for them,_ her_, when I saw her and made sure she saw me, I started walking towards the woods, making sure she'll follow me. Once we were deep enough in the woods I stopped, I felt her behind me.

"I know what you are" I said

"say it out loud"

"A vampire"

"Are you scared?" she asked

"No" truth

"You should be" she said

I turned around to face her.

"You wouldn't hurt me" I said confidently

"I'd rather die" she said

"Vampires can die?"

she laughed "Yes, immortality doesn't belong to our world"

"So you are a vampire?"

"Yes, Bella I am, and you shouldn't be alone with a vampire in the woods"

"I am not with a vampire, I am with you"

"You don't know me" she said

"I know what I need to know" I answered

"Let me show you who I am"

She took my hand and I collided with her back as she ran, I've never experienced such a speed, we stopped next to a tree.

"See Bella, this tree is heavier than you'll ever be" and with one hand, she literally uprooted it "One mistake from me and you're dead" she showed me her fangs "One bite and you fade" she took my hand again and took me to the top of the clairiere, the sun was piercing through the clouds, she exposed her skin to it, and it shined, like it was filled with diamonds, most beautiful thing if you ask me.

"See what I truly am Bella, so are you scared?"

I was still, looking at her perfect body, she was an angel, vampire maybe, but angel surely.

"You're so beautiful" I said

"I was designed to be, so I can drag foolish humans and suck their blood to death"

When she said that it clicked, she did drink human blood, she had to, but then again she was Alice, I couldn't picture her killing anyone.

"Do you?" I asked

"Do I what?"

"Do you drag foolish humans to feed?"

She smiled " No, I feed only on animal blood, as all my family, we refuse to be the monsters were shaped to be" she said darkly

"You're anything but a monster" I said

"And you are crazy, being so tender and nice with a bloodsucker"

"No I'm being nice to one of the most incredible girl I've ever met, one that saved my life, one who is sharing her biggest secret with me, I am nice to you Alice"

She slowly moved closer to me, never breaking eye contact, to make sure I agreed with every step she took. I was more than okay, I was thrilled. We were finally only inches apart, she stopped, and waited for me to close the gap, which I gladly did.

My lips found hers, timidly at first, tasting her cold, delicious lips, her tongue begged for entrance, and I gladly gave in. Our tongues met, with the heat of former lovers, I started to deepen the kiss, completely forgetting to breathe. Suddenly she pulled away, her eyes black. She closed them, and stopped moving for a few seconds when she opened them they were starting to get gold again.

"I'm sorry, it was a bit too much for me, your blood is very appealing" she said looking at her feet

"Never apologize for kissing me"I said

"I was sorry for pulling away" she smiled and I blushed.

We sat on the grass, for hours, staring at each other, kissing, talking, just being together, best hours of my entire life. It was one of those moments of pure happiness. Alice Cullen was with me, finally, there was nothing unpleasant about her. The true Alice was even better that what I pictured her to be, I couldn't wait to get to know her better.

When she drove me home, she walked me to the door, and this time I kissed her, I did, and believe it or not no matter how many times I've kissed her today, I still felt dazzled afterwards.

"Can I take you on a date tomorrow Bella Swan?"

"I would love to miss Cullen"

She kissed me again and left, tomorrow I am going on a date with the woman I love, I can't wait!

I got into my room, I laid on my bed and thought about today, the most incredible day of my life, come on I learned that vampires are for real, and the most beautiful day of my life, because Alice, The Alice, _My Alice_ kissed me.

**per viam: I am sorry for the poor English **

**Here it is, I think Alice is going to start act less Edward and more herself.**

**Let me know if I should keep going or not :)**


	2. The date

Alice was taking me on a date, I've never been this excited to go on a date with anyone. The thing is when you want someone badly, you start acting less like yourself and more like a poor version of You, because you're stressed. So I was trying as hard as I could to be myself, but without dressing like my old self. Alice she looks like a model, everything she wears was probably on the cover of Vogue at some point, or even will be on the cover of Vogue. I on the other hand am not what we can call a _natural_ when it comes to style. But not tonight, tonight I want her to look at me like I look at her. I know it's going to be hard, because Alice was designed by some Greek carver, who found how to merge perfection and grace. But I'll do my best.

After a look at y wardrobe, I found it. We all have this piece of textile work, bought by our mother for special occasions. A short black dress. Don't think I'll wear that ever again, but tonight was my first date with Alice, my first proper date. With Alice.

Alice said she'll come by at 7. At 6 I was ready. At 6:01 I was impatient. At 6:04 I heard the doorbell.

"Hey" Said a stunning Alice

"Hey" I said back staring at her perfect body was wrapped in a blue dress which must have been drawn for it.

Alice eyes seemed to be sliding along my body. It took me a few seconds to be able to speak.

"You are early" I stated

"I know" she smiled "But I knew you were ready and if I can get more time with you, none can stop me"

"How did you know I was ready?"

"Vampire thing" she chuckled "You look stunning, I mean I knew what you were going to wear but seeing it...I mean you look gorgeous"

"Thank you, you're quite a stunner yourself"

"I know" she chuckled

"You must think I'm weird to be dressed and prepared one hour before our date"

"I chose my outfit yesterday, and it took me all the will in this world not to come earlier. Ask Edward" she said

It felt good to know she was eager to see me too.

"Anyway, after you miss Swan" she smiled

I walked towards her car, she opened the door for me.

"Where are we going?"

"That is for me to know and for you to find out"

"You seem to enjoy know more than everyone else" I smiled

"Okay, you found my first default, and a long list will follow, are you scared?" she let a nervous laugh.

"I can't wait" I smiled, _I can't wait to love them all_

"Okay, so tell me Bella"

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything of course" she said as if it was the natural thing to say.

I must of eyed her curiously."Come on" she met eyes and pouted

_Man I am whipped_

"I don't know where to start" I asked

"It's okay, I'll know everything about you at some point" she smiled " I can wait"

"And how do you know that? Vampire thing" I smiled

"No, that's an Alice thing." she said

She parked the car, on the side road.

"Alice, the side road isn't _that_ romantic" I tried to joke

"So you're _that_ kind of joker" she smiled.

She got close to me.

"Can I hold you so I can carry you?" she asked carefully.

Sometimes Alice, have a little frown, like she expected to say no to her touch.

"Of course" I smiled

She lifted me, my weight didn't seem to affect her at all. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, Her smell was bewitching, she had the kind of smell you want to taste.

In no time we were in the clairiere where we spent the afternoon yesterday. Alice walked and grabbed a basket. She pulled out a blanket, and some food and juice.

"You did all this" I asked

"Actually, Esme cooked"

"Esme is your mother right?"

"Yes"

"I can't believe you did all this for me, you don't even eat"

"I'll watch you" she smiled

"You are going to watch me eat?" I asked confused

"Yes"

"Isn't that boring, I don't want you to be bored on our first date" I said honestly

"Bella, there is no way for me to be bored, as long as I get to spend time with you" she smiled

"You are a charmer aren't you?" I blushed at what she said

"It depends am I charming you?" she asked getting closer to me.

"Yes" I whispered _You have no idea_

She leaned in and kissed me, slowly softly, our tongues met with a tenderness I didn't know.

"Jasper said I should wait the end of the date to kiss you, but I couldn't, you look so beautiful and you are here with me. I couldn't wait any longer. Are you mad?"

"Mad? After that kiss I am a lot of things mad isn't one of them" I said out of breath

"I am glad"

As I grabbed, a sandwich, a question popped in my head.

"You said Jasper told you to wait?"

"Yes"

"How come?"

She seemed a bit uneasy for a moment. She was so cute, nervous Alice, that's a vision of her I am delighted to discover. God I want to see all the versions of Alice this world could offer me as long as she was happy.

"Well, the truth is, this is not just my first date with you, it's my first date."

"You mean you've never dated anyone?" I asked shocked

"Not like this, I've been with people but not like that"

The thought of her with whom ever these people are, made me sick. But she was with me now on her first date. And that was enough for me.

"Well, you are doing great" I smiled

I took another bite of my sandwich. Delicious.

"I take it you love Esme's cooking" she laughed

I blushed.

"I do"

"She's going to be delighted to hear this"

"She seems to be a wonderful person"

"She is, I think she's the mom every mother should be" Alice voice was filled with such pride and conviction, it was nice to know she was being taken care of. She seemed like the kind to love it;

"How old are you?" I asked

"Way to change the subject" she laughed "I have an age we don't tell"

"_That _old hum" I teased

"I knew it you are _that_ kind of joker"

"I guess I am" I nodded "But how old are you seriously"

"I don't want to scare you off" she seemed nervous

"Alice, nothing you'll tell me will make me love you less" I said honestly

"I was born in 1901"

"You're a hundred years old" I said in disbelief

Her face, was one of pure terror, and I immediately regretted my tone.

"That means you're going to do all my History homework from now on" I joked

"So it doesn't bother you?" she asked still unsure.

"No. If anything it makes me curious. How was life in the 50's"

She laughed, and lost her tension, I was relieved.

"What's special about the 50's?"

"I don't know you tell me" I laughed

I promised myself I wouldn't eat a lot, but Esme's food was too much to resist. When I was done eating Alice was looking at me with a grin on her face.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I asked

She shook her head and kept on grinning.

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'll have to physically remove that grin from your face" I tried

She kept on grinning at me.

I launched myself at her in an attempt to tickle her to surrender, but she grabbed me and was on top of me. Our bodies were close, last time we were that close she was saving my life.

"I knew you were going to do that" she whispered, her grin disappearing.

My heart was beating hard in a desperate attempt to break free from my chest. Listening to the urge of my wanting body to collect her lips with mine. I know Alice and I kissed, but she always instigated the kiss this I did. It was a voluntary Eden, a willing perdition.

When air became an issue, I pulled away.

"How is your first date is going?" I asked grinning

"Different from my expectations, but way better" she whispered almost to herself.

Alice was my angel, with her I was. It was weird like after a life of acting like myself I finally was myself.

"What are you thinking?" she asked as she laid next to me.

"That I like being with you" _That I love you._

"I like being with you too" and I could hear her smile

"Alice can I ask you something?"

"Anything you want"

"Why didn't you like me when I arrive at Forks in the first place?"

"You think I didn't like you?"

"Yes, I mean I just..."

"Bella, I liked you. I did. I do now. It's just there was something about you I didn't get and it scared me. But now I understand thus I apologize again for behaving like... well not like me" she laughed like she meant to say something else but didn't.

"Well, I am happy that you are you" I said honestly

"That was cheesy Bells" she laughed

"Are you making fun of me?" I pretended to be hurt.

I must be pretty good at acting, because she faced me in a blink.

"No! Bella of course not I like that you're you too. I mean..." I cut her laughing

"You are mean!" nudging me playfully on the shoulder.

"So you like me being me too" I teased

"Yes, more than you can imagine" she smiled

"Who's cheesy now?"

"I am never cheesy, I am adorably romantic, there's a difference"

"If you say so" I teased

"As lovely as our date is, I guess I should get you home now" she smiled

"Already"

"Does this mean you liked our date?" she crinkled her nose.

"Yes, I did. I loved it" I answered

"Good, because I want you to remember it"

"You'll remind me the details anyway" _I am not planning on letting you go ever!_

"I will, now let's go" she hopped quickly.

The drive home was quiet, one of these nice silences. The car was filled with a soft piano music, and warm. It was the best date of my life. At no moment she made it awkward for me, at no moment I felt out of place. It was perfect. I've never used this word as much, then again since I met her everything is different, everything feels better, tastes better and smells better.

She parked next to the house, got out and opened my door. It felt weird to see how chivalrous she could be, It didn't seem quite her.

"Did Jasper told you to open doors?" I smiled

"Yes, he did. But now I understand why?"

"Care to share"

"Because it's another moment I can share with you" she smiled

"Chee... adorably romantic is that it?"

"You are a fast learner" she laughed as she walked me to the door.

"What did Jasper told you to do now?"

"Kiss you" she answered never taking her eyes off my lips

"He is a wise man" I whispered

Her lips were on mine within a second, soft and cold. I don't think I'll ever get used to them, it's always a first time.

"I don't want this date to be over" I said honestly.

"Neither do i" she answered

"It doesn't have to be" I dared

"What do you suggest?"

I opened the door.

"Charlie spends the night out, come in"

"Are you sure?" she said

"Yes, I am" I said confidently

"Look, I'll go park the car home and I'll come back. Leave your window open" she smiled

"Okay" I smiled

As she turned to leave.

"Wait" I said

"What?" she asked

I pulled her into a kiss, I didn't know I was going to, I just did. She seemed shocked first, and then she started kissing back.

"You are full of surprises" she whispered "I love surprises"

"Come back fast" I said

Her perfect body pulled away from me, and she started the car as fast as the machine could go. She was coming back quickly indeed.

I felt hot water collide against my body, I couldn't stop thinking about Alice. Perfect Alice, sweet Alice, funny Alice, and Adorably romantic Alice. I saw her face when she told me her age, I saw the fear of rejection. She was scared that I would reject her._ Like I could ever, I don't think anything she'd say or do will make me love her less. _

I wore an old T-shirt and panties. I got in my bed and waited for her to come, which she did after ten more minutes.

"Hey" she said

"Hey"

"I am sorry I made you wait I wanted to hunt before I came"

Alice explained to me, how they hunted, and I fell asleep against her cold body. Tonight I'll dream of Alice Cullen. But I doubt my dreams can be better than reality.

**Here is the second chapter, just the date. I hope you like it. **

**Let me know if there's something I should improve :)**


	3. Chapter 3

_Alice explained to me, how they hunted, and I fell asleep against her cold body. Tonight I'll dream of Alice Cullen. But I doubt my dreams can be better than reality._

When I woke up, I kept my eyes closed, and pulled my body further into her.

"You are finally awake" she laughed "Come on get up"

"Alice are you always that energetic in the morning?" I mumbled

"Yes, look I have to go get ready, and I'll be back to drive you to school in an hour" she said getting off the bed.

"You look so fresh for someone who just woke up"

"I didn't"

"You didn't wake up?"

"My sweet Bella, I'll never get how humans pretend that sleeping helps rest if you wake up in this state" she laughed

"What?" I am not a morning person.

"Vampires don't sleep" she smiled as she sat on the bed

"Never"

"Nope"

"Oh" not knowing exactly what to do with the news

She laughed, like the vision of me in my morning fog was hilarious.

"I'll be back in an hour" she said as she came close to kiss me.

I pulled back.

"morning breath" I said

She leaned again, and gave me a peck on the lips.

"When I'm back I get a proper kiss, and it's not up to discussion" she whispered in my ear, making me shiver.

An hour later I was ready, the fact that Alice and I got so close in such a short time, was making me wonder about the steps we were going to take. Were we going to be out in the open? I mean I am so glad to get to be with her that honestly I'll do anything she asks for.

Charlie was in the kitchen.

"Good morning Bella"

"Good morning"

"So how was your night with Alice?"

"Good" _Does he know._

"You know I love you" he said

It was very unusual for Charlie to be that emotional, maybe he knows maybe that's a sign. Anyway I am not ready to tell him. Not now.

I heard Alice's car and I flew out, after kissing Charlie on his unshaved cheek. I got in the car knowing what my mission was.

I leaned in and kissed her, I made the kiss slow and teasing, just to see what a frustrated Alice looked like. Truth is I was not disappointed.

"Let's go to school" I said pulling away

"You can't kiss me like that Bella, and tell me to go to school" she pouted

"I can and I did"

"mmh Okay" she said very much frustrated Alice

As she was driving, I took the time to take her beauty in, to take all that was Alice Cullen. To admire her soft nose, her red lips, everything about her was mesmerizing. I took a second to think that if Alice stood in all her glory and asked me to willingly submit to her thirst, I'm not sure I'll be able to refuse. But I don't think it's a vampire thing, because if it was Edward or Emmett I'd run, I'd scream, I'd fight but not with her. Never with her.

"Bella?"

"Yes" I said getting out of my head.

"You weren't listening were you?"

"No" I admitted blushing "sorry, I was just thinking"

"It's okay, as long as you're thinking about me" she smiled tentatively

"Definitely" I smiled.

"I was wondering..." she was as nervous as that time she talked about her age, I wanted to hug her, to make her nervousness go away, but at the same time I couldn't help but find it endearing.

"Bella!"

"Err What?"

"What keeps stealing your mind?"

"Nothing" I said ashamed to be that hypnotized by her. "I'm listening promise"

"Do you want us to be a couple at school or not?"

"I..I mean I don't know"

"Look, I want to be with you in the open, I've never got why humans were scared. Anyway Bella I know that in this town news travel fast so I think we should wait until everyone important knows and then we could you know be public...Unless you don't want to …."

_She is perfect! I love her._

"Alice, I agree with you"

"On what?"

"We should wait and tell people slowly"

"Just so you know my family knows."

"Yes, Edward seemed to know I liked you from the beginning"

"You liked me?" she asked almost in disbelief "But I was horrible to you"

"I did. I do"

"If we weren't in a school parking I would've kissed you. Just so you know" she said

I laughed.

The morning was quite uneventful, I didn't see Alice at all, but I'll have lunch with her. I've never headed to the cafeteria with such a smile I was sure.

"Bella, you sit with us" asked Mike

Alice arrived just in time.

"Actually, Bella is taken for lunch" she flashed a million dollar to Mike and his eyes widened.

"Erm, yes okay, I mean it's cool"

"Erm yes sorry Mike" I said

Sitting with the Cullen's was making me very nervous, I mean if they didn't like me, would Alice stay with me. I don't know how to explain it, but the thought of them liking me and how happy I would feel to be a part of them made my heart warm.

"Glad to see you join us Bella" smiled Edward "You already know me, here is Jasper my boyfriend" Jasper nodded in my direction "Here is Emmett and his wife Rosalie"

"So you're the one turning Alice into this love benumb"

I blushed

"Hey! I am not benumbed"

"You so are"

"Emmett" she said warningly

"What are you going to do, you can't slap me there are no ladders here"

Everyone laughed, even I.

"Bella!" she exclaimed "You are on my side" she pouted

"Yes, I am" I smiled

We smiled at each other.

"Please stop the eye sex already" said Rosalie flashing a teasing smile at Alice

"That's it! Bella we're never having lunch with these people again" pouted Alice

"Oh come on, sis we're only playing. You know we love you" said Edward

"Yes, I am even going to tolerate the human for you" smiled Rosalie

"Hey! She is right here Rose"

"Yes, sorry. Look Bella, I don't like you-"

"Rose" growled Alice

"let me finish, I don't like you, but I don't dislike either. But if you make that little pixie happy then you are good on my book" she smiled

"On ours" added Emmett.

"Pixie" I repeated. It was the exact name for Alice pixie.

"Don't start calling me like that. I have enough of that home" she warned

I leaned to whisper in her ear "But I can make it sound way better" I blushed at my own bluntness

The whole table laughed.

"Bella, Vampires can hear"

I think if there was a championship of blushing, I would win. No I know I would've won.

Alice on the other hand was still frozen.

"Alice if you don't stop thinking about that. I am going to throw up even though I can't. One you are my sister and two I don't want to watch that" exclaimed Edward.

The rest of the meal was great, conversation was not something I endured anymore. I was happy, even if not being able to touch her, or to kiss her was very hard. I was Happy.

Jasper didn't talk at all, I was scared that he didn't like me. I mean maybe I did something wrong. Just when I was starting to panic, he flashed a smile at me.

"Welcome to the clan" he said

**Short Chapter I am sorry but I will try to update everyday**

**Thank you for the reviews**

**:)**


	4. I love you my mate

Alice was a happy person, no not just a happy person which merged into the joy of living. She could make anyone smile just by being. And every time I walked with her to class while she was wearing her famous smile I was overwhelmed with pride. Because _she_ was with me and none else.

Today was my first week-end with Alice, she called me yesterday to make sure I was free. I'm glad she called, I'm always happy when I get to talk to her. She asked me to meet her outside the house. When her car arrived, my heart was beating hard, I guess being with Alice is really good for my cardiac exercises.

"Hello" she smiled

"Hi"

She didn't start the engine, and kept looking at me.

"You're not forgetting anything, are you?" she asked licking her lips.

"Nope, pretty sure I didn't" I teased.

Alice wants her kisses, and I love making her work for them.

"Well, I..am pretty sure you did" she said leaning closer to me

"What would that be?"

"Kiss me now" she whispered

"All you had to do is-"

I didn't get to finish that sentence, her lips were on mine. Her kisses had something I've never experienced with anyone. It's not so much about the soft cold vampire thing, nor was it the delicious lipstick she used, it was more the fact that they made my mind imagine our future. It is a weird thing to say I think, but every time she kissed me, I tried to imagine every other kiss we'll share.

"Don't tease me with kisses" she whispered in my ear.

"I won't" I manage to say

"Yeah, because next time I might do it too" she warned

"No, you can't"

"I can" she said falsely outraged.

"Okay, you can, but you won't"

"You're probably right" she laughed

She started driving, with her I never know the destination. It's like a habit now, I don't even bother asking where we are going. I let her do it because I'm never disappointed when we reach her goal.

"Bells, can you talk to me about yourself?" she asked with an adorable sheepish look.

"Okay, yes well, my mum's name is Renée, she recently married Paul, a baseball player, and is now following him around the country. My best friend is Jacob Black he lives in the reservation and well you know Charlie"

She laughed "Bella, I asked you to talk about yourself not everyone else"

I blushed. True.

"It's just that it's a weird question"

"Why is that?"

"I don't know"

"It's okay, Actually I wanted to talk to you about something"

"What is it?" I asked curious

"Wait we'll be there in a few minutes, we'll be more comfortable to talk"

"It's nothing bad?" I asked my heart quickening

"I hope not"

"You're not helping the rising panic here Alice" I tried to smile

"It's okay, we're almost there"

"Where?"

"The clairiere"

"I like that we always go there to be together"_ I feel like nothing can get to us there._

Like on our date, she pulled on the side of the road.

"Aren't you going to make _that_ kind of jokes?"

"No, I just want to hear what you have to say"

"Relax Bella"

She wrapped her arms to carry me. When my face was in the crook of her neck nothing could trouble me.

"Here we are" she said putting me back on the ground.

"Yes, So what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Well, ermm.. the thing is Vampires are different from humans on many points" I nodded "Some of them have what you could call gifts"

"Gifts?"

"Yeah, for example Edward can read minds"

"What?" _no no! No way! If he heard what I thought about his sister, what I still think when I am around him._

"Yes, he can't read yours though. It's part of why he likes you so much"

Okay, so Edward can't read my mind, thanks god.

" Jasper can control other people emotions and feel them too"

"what can you do?"

"I can see the future, well, not exactly i can see the future based on people's decisions"

"You can see the future" i said shocked

"Yes, that's what i wanted to talk about"

"the fact that you can see the future"

"Bella, i saw you way before you came here, actually i saw you coming way before you were born"

"What do you mean?"

She looked really nervous, i didn't know what to do, whatever she'll tell me i am sure I'll love her anyway.

"Well, i saw you in a vision, that's part of why i was so weird around you in the beginning."

"Why what did i do, i mean what will i do in the future that caused you that weirdness?"

"Bella what i am going to tell you is weird, Edward said i should tell you, that you have to know, but Rose said it's too much for a human to handle"

"Alice just say it, please" i said

"Okay, vampires don't fall in love"

"you mean you can't fall in love with me" i said tears coming to my eyes

"No, no that's not what i meant. we can't fall out of love, we love one person forever"

"I don't understand"

"We can recognize our soul mates"

What was she trying to tell me? did she find her soul mate and is going to break up with me? or maybe she just wants to be with me until she finds her soul mate?

"Bella, you are my mate"

"i am your mate"

"Yes , but you don't have to if you don't want me, i will never-"

My lips were on hers, i am her mate, of all the people i could've been destined to be with there was no better one than Alice Cullen, my Alice Cullen.

"So you're not angry at me?"

"Why would I be?"

"Rosalie said that humans fall out of love"

"They do, but I will never" i said convinced "there is no way I'll love anyone else"

"you love me?" she looked so adorable and unsure. How could she doubt that?

"Yes, i do. that wasn't the way i imagined telling you but Alice Cullen i love you"

Within a second my feet left the floor, and her lips crashed on mine, this kiss wasn't like any other she ever gave me, it was deep, she didn't let go, or pulled back, my need for air was completely secondary, my whole body was on fire just after that kiss. But I did have to pull back to gasp for air.

"I've never been this happy, in my entire life" she said

"Neither have I"

Forks isn't Hell, Forks is paradise... Forks is my paradise...mine and Alice's paradise.

The whole day was spent in the clairiere, i was Alice's mate. I was Alice's mate, I actually was an angel's Mate.

"Tomorrow i want you to meet my parents, Esme is dying to know you"

"Erm Okay" i said "But what if they don't like me"

"of course they will like silly, is there anything not to like"

"I love you, Bella"

"I've never loved before i met you Alice"

Saturday ended quickly, too quickly for my liking, Alice dropped me home.

"Hi Bells, how was your day with Alice?"

"Great, dad I need to talk to you"

I finally mustered the courage to come out to Charlie.

"okay, what's up? is everything alright"

"I am gay" was that was blunt " and Alice is my girlfriend"

"Okay"

"You are okay with it"

"Bella i am a cop, my job is to read people,and every time you talked about Alice your eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, i figured and of course i am okay with it love is love kiddo"

"Thanks, it means the world to me." i said honestly

"Look i know you and i aren't as close as you and your mother but you can talk to me. I'll always be there for you"

"Thank you" i said hugging him tightly

"Although I would like meeting this little girlfriend of yours"

"Yes, okay, she's coming tomorrow to take me to her house"

"Fine, then tomorrow it'll be"

I kissed him goodnight and started heading to my room

"hey Bells"

"Yes?"

"I don't need to give you the talk about... you know"

"No, no need no!"

We were both red as tomatoes. why in the world would he ask that!

**Here for this chapter, first "i love you" between Alice and Bella**

**Next chapter will be Bella meeting Carlistle and Esme**

**Let me know what you think about it**


	5. Family

Why in the world would Charlie ask that?

I went straight to my room, my physical relation with Alice resumed to kisses and hugs, she never asked for more. I don't know if I was ready for more. But when I'll be I know that I want Alice to be that person. To say that I've never imagined the things Alice and I would do would be a lie...an big lie...on so many levels.

That night Alice didn't come to hold me to sleep, needless to say, that drifting to sleep without her body next to mine, became an issue. Before I came to Forks I had trouble to understand how we could be comfortable sleeping next to someone, now I have trouble understanding how it could be comfortable sleeping not next to her.

Sunday I was woken up by the sound of my phone.

"Hello"

"_Hi, Bella"_

"Alice, How are you?"

"_Great, I just called to say that, there is a small crack on the first lath of your parquet is separated from the ground, if you could avoid it , you would me very happy."_

I laughed at this "Thank you"

"_You're very welcome, So Charlie wants to talk to me?"_

"How do you know?"

"_You're not a morning person are you, I am a future seeing vampire, surprising me is very hard I'll have you know"_

"True, so when will you be coming over?"

"_In 75minutes and 54 seconds"_

"seriously?"

"_No I can know exactly though, but I'm gonna say an hour and half"_

"Did you just make fun of me?"

"_That I did"_

"Okay, you know what they say about payback"

"_Bring it on" _she laughed

"You'll see"

"_Seriously though, please be careful about the lath_"

"I will"

"_Okay, now go get ready, I love you_"

"I love you too"

Ah my future seeing Vampire girlfriend. Wait was she really my girlfriend I mean now that Charlie knows, we're going to be able to be public at school, would that mean that she implicitly will be my girlfriend or should I ask her anyway?

I got up, showered, got ready trying to find the perfect dress code something that says I am good enough for your daughter to Carlistle and Esme, and at the same time to make sure Alice found me sexy. Easy...

Finally, I found it, tight jeans, with a cute top and a blazer...I hope it's going to be alright. I carefully avoided the lath, without the warning I'm pretty sure I would've fell all the way down, ended up in a hospital. Being with Alice was indeed good for my health.

Charlie was sitting in the kitchen.

"Good morning kiddo"

"Good morning"

"How did you sleep?"

"Well"_ not at all I need Alice to cuddle "_Alice is on her way"

"Great"

"Oh and you might want to fix a lath upstairs"

"Oh Okay, did you stumble on it"

"No, I was lucky enough to avoid it" I smiled _Lucky, that I am!_

We heard Alice's car pull in the driveway. I ran to the door, to kiss her while she was still outside.

"Hello"

I answered with a kiss, God I missed her!

"I missed you too" she winked at me

"You're ready to meet Charlie"

"As ready as I could be" she smiled nervous

It was cute to see a hundred years old Vampire, perfect little stature nervous about meeting my dad. But I guess when it comes to that we're all just teenagers.

I opened the door, and she followed me in.

"Hello, chief Swan" she said flashing him one of her smiles that'll make you go to hell and back for her. My father blushed.

"Hello, Alice, call me Charlie please" he said.

Man she got him! With one smile! No doubt about my filiation!

"I wanted to tell you, I am thrilled that I am able to date your daughter"

"She's thrilled too"

_kill me now!_

Alice laughed.

"We are going to visit my parents, you are welcome to join us"

"No, I can't I have work. But thank you"

"You are welcome"

"Well, we have to go Charlie, see you tonight" I said

"Yes, I mean no I work late tonight" he said

"Erm okay" I said

I took Alice's hand and started leading her to the door.

"Wait" she told me "Chief Swan, I mean Charlie, my brother said I should ask your benediction properly to date Bella, but I just realized that I had no idea what properly meant so can I date your daughter?"

Her tone was soft and nervous, I think I fell a little bit more in love with her.

"As far as I am concerned, that was properly done" smiled Charlie "and Yes, you can , as long as you make her happy"

"Thank you" she said smiling at him again.

Okay, Swan's had a thing for Alice, I wonder how it'll go when she'll meet Renee.

We got in the car, and she started driving.

"So Jasper said you should ask?"

"Yes" she smiled "I had no idea I could be that nervous anymore"

"You tell me, I hope I convince your parents as easily as you had Charlie"

"They already love you, Bella." she laughed

The drive was quiet, I liked having these silences with Alice, they were never uneasy, not the kind of silences where we're trying to figure out what to say next. We were just being, silently being.

Alice pulled in front of a big beautiful house, not that I imagined coffins or anything, but not big bay windows. And a beautiful well maintained garden.

"This is your house?" I asked Alice

"Yes Carlistle built it for Esmee, she take care of the garden and of the interior"

"It's amazing"

"I'm glad you like it, wait until you see the inside" she laughed

She opened my door and took my hand, she seemed so excited about me meeting her family, I loved it, I loved that she cared.

She opened the door, I was faced with Edward.

"Bella, welcome in the house of bloodsuckers"

"Edward, don't scare the poor girl" said a soft voice "Hello, dear I am Esmee"

"Hello..nice to meet you Mrs Cullen" my heart was pounding and my palms sweating.

"Non-sense to you I am Esmee. Mrs Cullen is for strangers" she smiled warmly at me.

Dr Cullen, came to greet me too.

"Bella, it's nice to see you again, this time outside the hospital" he smiled

I smiled "Thank you Dr Cullen"

"No, Bella now you're family so you get to call me Carlistle"

"Thank you, Carlistle"

"Alice, why don't you give Bella the tour and meet us all in the living room" said Esmee

I wanted to hug her, for making this awkward, yet delightful moment come to an end.

Again Alice took my hand, and dragged me the first floor. And led me to a big beautiful room. Full of light and paintings, paintings and drawings everywhere.

"I wanted to tidy up things yesterday, but I thought that you should see my room for what it is most of the time" she said

I took a closer look to one painting, it represented 'the clairiere', it was so beautiful, the painting could overshadow reality.

"You painted this?"

"Yes, I painted everything in this room" she smiled " do you like it?"

"I love it. Alice you are super talented"

"Thank you" she laughed

This girl was a sample of paradise, she smiled and laughed at everything.

She got closer to me, and kissed me. Her lips pressed against mine, her tongue teased my bottom lip, before finding mine.

"As appealing as, spend the entire day kissing you in my room, is we have to go back"

I only nodded, not trusting my voice after the kiss.

no sooner had I set foot in the room, I found myself lifted into the air by a giant.

"Bella!"

"Emmett put her down" said Alice

"Okay little sis, relax" he said setting me free

"You'll get used to it that's how Emmett greet people" chuckled Esmee

"It's the only way to greet people" said Emmett

"So Bella, I wanted to tell you how happy we were that Alice found her mate, and even happier that you are this person" said Carlistle.

"Trust me nobody is happier than me, to be that person" I said honestly

"Yes, somebody" said Alice

"Who?" I asked

"Me" she smiled

"Oh Al I hope you know that I'm probably going to make fun of you eternally after that" said Emmett

"No you're not" said Alice

"How could you stop me?"

"I'll ask Rose to punish you" smiled Alice "You know what I mean Emmett"

"Alice I think everyone in this room know what you mean" smiled Edward.

Meeting the whole Cullen's clan went well, went more than well. But when Alice said she should take me back home, I was glad that I get to spend sometime alone with her.

Once we were in the car, Alice took my hand in hers while driving.

"Well, it went well" she commented

"Yes, your parents are great"

"Yes they are" she smiled

We arrived home quickly and Alice said she'll stay with me. We were lying in my bed when I thought about something.

"Alice can I ask you something?"

"Anything my love" _my love_

"Do you miss your real parents?"

She immediately tensed, and I regretted my question.

"It's okay Al, you don't have to answer"

"No, it's just that I don't remember my human life"

"Not a thing?"

"Nope, nothing, all I know, I've learned it from the researches that I made"

"Oh, I'm sorry"

"No need to be my love, I want to share all that I am with you, good an bad" she said.

I swear sometimes she says things and my heart grows bigger.

"Thank you"

"No need to thank me, I love you." she kissed my forehead "So, all that I found was that my real name was Alice Brandon, I was born in Mississippi, I had a little sister named Cynthia. As for my parents the only thing I know about them is that they sent me to an asylum because I was getting visions even as a human"

"They sent you to an asylum!" I almost yelled

she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"It's okay, Bells other times, other morals"

I laid back on her chest.

"Alice?"

"Yes my love?"

"I hate your parents, and I am glad you found Carlistle and Esmee"

"Thank you, I am glad I found you"

she kissed my forehead again.

"I am glad you found me too, you know"

She chuckled.

"Now sleep, tomorrow you and me are going to face another type of show at school"

I drifted to sleep, not even slightly nervous about what Monday would bring.

**Here is for today's chapter.**

**As always sorry for the grammar :)**

**In two or three chapters we'll meet the bad guys...I think I'm not sure yet.**

**I love your reviews thank you very much**


	6. contencio

_I drifted to sleep, not even slightly nervous about what Monday would bring._

When I woke up, I found a note on the empty bed.

"_Hey, I went home to get ready, get up and ready I'll drive you to school :) Alice"_

And I did just that.

She arrived just in time, like she always does.

When I hopped in the car, her soft face was emotionless, she was getting a vision, she warned me these things might happened. So I waited, until she came back to me.

"Hey" I whispered when her eyes focused on me.

A small frown appeared on her perfect face. And she gave me a look of complete and utter sadness.

"Hi" she said, without leaning for a kiss.

"Is everything okay?" I asked

"Y-Yes" _she is lying._

"Alice what did you see?"

"Nothing."_ she's lying again._

If she didn't want to tell me, it was okay. Who am I kidding no it's not! Yesterday she was promising to share everything and now she is lying to my face.

"Okay" I said coldly.

"Bella, I'm not going to be at school today" she said after a silence.

"Why?"

"I have to...erm"

"Alice you're the worst liar I've ever met just tell me what's wrong?"

"I ...Well...I'll tell you tonight" she said pulling in the school parking.

"No Alice, tell me now please" I pleaded.

"No" she just said.

"Okay" I said getting out of the car without goodbyes.

I thought she'd follow me. She didn't.

I just heard her start the engine and drive away.

What is it that she saw that made her shut me out completely? Am I going to do something wrong? I mean, I'm just realizing one of the downside of being with a psychic. Not only I'm going to wonder what I did wrong, but also what I am going to do wrong.

Since Alice and I got together, I've never been to school without her, and even when we were not together, the fact that she was there somewhere, made me feel better.

_Damn it I didn't even kiss her today!_

It's okay, I'll handle it. One day without Alice Cullen. One entire day at school without my vampire soul mate. It's fine...It is?

**First period**: I spent the entire math class, thinking about her, and I think that she is being so unfair pulling away from me, I didn't do anything wrong! And even if I am going to I still didn't!

**Second period**, I think that maybe I am overreacting, her vision could've been about one of her parents and she wanted to talk to them about it before talking to me, which was her right.

**Third period**: No, if it was about her parents she could've just said so, like "hey Bella, my vision is about my family it's personal" there it is. Why shut me out completely it must've been about me. It had to be. But she didn't seem angry, she seemed sad. I am going to make her sad aren't I?

**Lunch break**: Ami overly attached, I mean, it's okay, couples fight all the time. And Alice and I didn't even fight, we merely had a disagreement over something that I don't know. That happens I'm sure.

"Hi Bella"

I jumped.

"Edward, you scared the hell out of me" I said

"I am sorry" he said Chuckling

"You don't look or sound sorry" I said smiling

"Okay, you are right it was too funny. So what trapped your mind?" he asked

_Your sister!_

"Alice can be quite hard to understand sometimes"

"I thought you couldn't read me!" I said indignantly

"I can't, but I have eyes"

"Yeah"

"So what happened between you and my sister dearest?"

"She... this morning she had a vision, and then she I don't know I felt like she shut me out, and then she said she won't be in school"

"Did she tell you what she saw?"

"No"

"Maybe, she saw that they were going to serve you this awful fish for lunch and couldn't take to see you eat it" he laughed

"It's not funny Ed" but I couldn't help but smile. All the faces in the cafeteria showed disgust at the taste.

"I know, Bella you know that Jasper can feel emotions?"

"Yes"

"He can feel them and understand them, better than those who feel them sometimes. When I first met him, he used to do things I didn't understand straight away, but that made me feel better on the long run"

"You think she's doing this for my own good?"

"You are Alice's mate, that means that from the moment she met you, everything she'll ever do will be for your happiness"

"I want to make her happy too, but I can't if she hides things from me"

"I am sure you want her to be happy too. I am not sure if Alice told you about her past"

"That she doesn't remember it"

"Exactly, she can't know how it feels to be human"

"I can't be that different from being a vampire" I said

"It is Bella on so many levels, but the fact is that sometimes she will underestimate you and others she overestimate you. Sometimes she'll hide things she thinks you can't handle. It is your job to set her straight, I mean, well you know what I mean" He smiled.

"Thank you Edward" I said sincerely grateful

"You are very welcome" she smiled and walked over to the Cullen's table.

I spent the rest of the day praying that Alice will keep her words and come pick me up and tell me the truth. As I exit school I was relieved to see her in her car waiting for me.

"Hello" she said tentatively

I didn't answer her and pulled her into a kiss. A whole day without her mouth! Never again!

"I take it I am forgiven" she smiled

"No, but I didn't do anything wrong I deserved a kiss" I said

Her face turned sad again.

"I am sorry"

"Do you even know what you are sorry for Alice?"

"For not telling you what my vision is about"

"No, Alice you are allowed to have your secrets, even if I hate it, but it is not okay to lie to me and shut me out" I said softly

"I know, I am so sorry"

"Alice I am not breakable"

"You so are"

"No, I might not be as phisically strong as you, but you can talk to me. I can handle truth."

"I -"

"No, Al I proved myself enough, I've handled everything since now" I said as I took her hand in mine.

"You're right"

"So, what are you hiding from me?"

"Us"

"What about us?"

"I saw us being public and then there was all this attention, and you were so tensed. I saw a girl insulting you, I saw people whispering and you seemed so tensed. I just thought if I wasn't there you'll have a normal day, and it'll give me the time to figure out a good excuse that'll keep us from being public"

"You did all this because I was tensed in your vision"

"Well, you were really tensed" she said sheepishly

"Alice I spent the whole day more than tensed"

"Why?"

"Because you weren't here, because I thought I did or will do something wrong"

"I am sorry"

"Stop saying it Alice" I said softly "I guess you'll have to learn how to date a human as much as I have to learn how to date a vampire" I smiled "I will be tensed when we'll come out, one because I hate the attention, two because we are going to expose ourselves and for many other reasons I suppose. But it's worth it, if I'll never spend a whole day without kissing you again then it worth it"

She leaned in and kissed me, in the car, in the middle of the school parking. I heard Emmett laugh and applause from here.

When she pulled away I was breathless, and we were public. I saw a swarm of eyes pointed at us. Coming out checked, but I couldn't care less. Alice trusted me more with the truth and I got my kisses. I know that tomorrow I will face some narrow minded bigots, but it doesn't matter. I am with Alice Cullen the rest of the world could fall apart around me. Thanks to her I'll stand still and unharmed.

"I love you, you know that" she said

"I know I love you too"

"And I'm pretty sure I am going to mess up again, because I'll think I am doing the right thing" she smiled.

"I might mess up too, you know" I said

"It's okay, you are my mate, you can mess up I'll be there anyway" she smiled

"Hey, I'll be there for you too"

"Aren't I a lucky person" she whispered getting close to my lips again.

"Nope, I am the lucky one" I whispered back grabbing her lips between mine.

**Here is the first little conflict.**

**Bella is getting more and more comfortable and even if she worships Alice, and knows she's perfect for her she is able to tell her when she is mistaken.**

**Let me know what you think.**


	7. petere me

Forks high...

It's been a few weeks since Alice and I became public, a week during which we've been the _it _thing, everyone talked about us. Most of it was positive even if we had to deal with some... not so positive stuff. But every time I'd feel a bit overwhelmed by the attention, I'd feel a small cold hand in mine and a gentle squeeze that promised me that everything will be okay. And it was enough.

Lately, I've been trying to get more physical with Alice, to make my kisses deeper and my hands more curious about her body, but she never let it go too far, she always pulled away...always too soon for my liking. I mean I was the human, who never had intimate relationships, but she acted like it. I was getting frustrated, I mean I want her, all of her. No, I need all of her. I was ready, but she wasn't so I didn't pressure her, every time she stop my hands from unclasping her bra, I just accepted her gesture without asking. But it was getting harder to stop the sigh from escaping my lips. To prevent my hands from trying again.

Yesterday, Alice invited me over to the Cullen's house, she said her family would be away and she didn't want to spend the night alone. But all I heard _empty house with Alice for a whole week-end_ . Yes her refusal is driving me crazy.

I got everything ready, myself, my clothes that I wish I won't have to wear. I kissed Charlie before leaving, the fact that he allowed me to spend the week-end with her showed how much he trusted her and me and that made me proud, proud of her, proud of me. Proud of us.

Alice was here to pick me up, I went to hop in the car but she got out.

"Hi, Bells" she said lightly

"Hey Alice?" it came out like a _"Why are you getting out of the car Alice?"_

"I would like to thank Charlie for letting you stay with me"

"He'll be thrilled to see you"

She laughed, perfect melodic, harmonious laugh.

We got back inside the house, Charlie was still reading his newspaper.

"Hello, Chi-arlie" smiled Alice

"Hello Alice" said Charlie smiling widely at her.

"I wanted to thank you for allowing Bella to stay at my house, I was a bit scared I'd have to spend it alone" she smiled

_Scared? Really Alice? Like I could make you feel safe!_

Charlie's eyes gave him away, he loved Alice. He truly did.

"It's okay Alice, I trust both of you and if there is even a slight problem you call me, okay?"

"Promise" she flashed him a smile

"Okay, we're leaving now" I said

"Have fun girls"

My beautiful pixie opened the door for me, then settled on the driver seat, leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.

"So you were scared to spend the week-end alone" I teased

"It was not a lie"

"How is that?" I smiled

"If I had to spend the week-end alone that would have meant that you didn't come and whatever reason would keep you away from me sounds scary to me."

"How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Take any random conversation, and turn into something so sweet"

"I must say I am gifted" she laughed.

While she was driving, she put her hand on my thigh. And I put my hand on hers. What's weird is that she is the one who loves when there is a concrete connection between us, so why won't she let it happened.

I mean maybe she didn't want me? Well, I am not going to torture myself longer, or her for that matter. Tonight I'll try again and if the same scheme appears I'll talk to her. One thing I've learned from being with Alice is that talking to her was never a bad idea. She'll listen and she'll be truthful. After all she promised not to lie again and I trust her.

When we arrived at her house, I felt more comfortable because we were alone. Last time I came the whole clan was there and I was feeling like I was passing the most important exam of my life. But right now my whole body was relaxed. I could appreciate the greatness of Esme decoration, the beautiful silence that filled the house.

Alice rested her hands on my waist and her head on my shoulder.

"Ready for this week-end" she whispered close to my ear

"Yes"

We stood there for a few minutes.

"So what do you want to do?" she asked.

"I don't know"

"Well first you can eat what Esmee prepared for you, so we won't have to worry about food" she smiled.

"Yes, we could do that" I smiled

Esmee left me, so much food, I mean I get that they don't get human food, but not that much she let me the equivalent of a month for two days. Worst of it I'm pretty sure everything tasted great. I am so going to gain weight!

"Why do you always watch me eat?" I asked

"Does it bother you?" she asked worriedly

"No, it's just that I would like to understand"

"Unlike the others in my family I have no idea of the taste, I mean the only taste I know is blood, I don't get to chew different flavors, and I don't know I find it fascinating"

"I've never felt that lucky to eat" I smiled "but there are a million of other things you can feel that I can't"

"It's true" she smiled at me.

I ate, and then Alice said we should watch a movie. I thought she'd put on a cute romantic comedy. She did not. A horror movie, not the nice kind , if nice kind existed, no bad kind. I ended up hiding my face in her neck most of the time.

When the movie was over, I was a happy girl.

"Never again Alice"

"What?" she asked innocently

"You know what, that movie was awful"

"It was not, plus you are always safe with me aren't you?"

"Yes, I am"

_Safe _for the second time that day I was reminded that I could never make Al feel safe the same way she made me feel. It was sad, kind of, it made me feel weak.

"Are you okay?" she asked

She was becoming so good at picking up on my moods that I wondered if I'll ever be able to keep anything from her anymore.

"Yes"

"Bells, we said no more lies" she smiled caressing my cheek

"You are right"

"I tend to do that a lot, look we're gonna lay in bed and you can talk to me okay?"

I nodded.

We laid in our clothes on her bed.

"So what is it?"

"Nothing I was just thinking that...Well, I feel safe with you and I was wondering if you'd ever feel the same thing" I said quickly

"I do now" she smiled

"I make you feel safe" I scoffed

"You do"

"It's okay Alice you don't have to say it"

"I do, Bells I've lived more than 20 years with mated Vampires. I always wondered if I ever meet mine, and even when I got visions of you I still wasn't sure you'd want me, but you being here with me, not scared. Accepting me. Bella you took away the greatest fear of my life, not having you"

My heart pounded like crazy, she could take any of my insecurities and make them vanish with a few words, with a gentle squeeze of my hand. I loved her. I love her.

"I love you" I whispered

"I love you so much Bella Swan"

I leaned in to kiss her but she pulled away.

"My sweet Bella, no kisses until we're dressed for bed"

"Why?"

"Because otherwise we might sleep in these outfits"

_Or we might sleep naked! Or better not sleep at all!_

I put on my T-shirt very quickly to return to bed, with my sweet Alice who went to change in the bathroom.

When she came back into the room, I gasped. She wore a nightgown that left little room for the imagination. I discovered her pale and thin legs, silk caressing her made-in-heaven body. Sketching the tempting shape of her breasts.

I walked to her and put her into a kiss, deep passionate. Full of a lust I couldn't even imagine before now. My hands traveled on her body with greed. I reached to unclasp her bra above her nightgown but she pulled away.

"Alice" I whispered

"Bells, we shouldn't" she said but didn't fully pull away.

"Alice, you can't wear that and tell me we shouldn't. What are you scared of?"

"Loosing control, hurting you, harming you, killing you" her voice cracked at the last part was spoken.

"You won't"

"How do you know?"

"I trust you, I love you and I am positively sure that you won't hurt me"

I grabbed her lips again. Pulling her on the bed.

"Not like I could've resist anyway" she said against my lips.

**Here's today's chapter.**

**I don't know if I should write next chapter as a continuity of this one, and the week-end or just skip it … Let me know what you think please. **

**As always I love the reviews they're keeping me going :)**


	8. intimitatem

_"Not like I could've resist anyway" she said against my lips. _

I pulled her on the bed, she was beautiful, _oh so beautiful,_ I slowly took off her nightgown exposing her Greek goddess's body. An Aphrodite my fingers could caress. A nymph my lips could taste. Alice slid her hand under my shirt, and her cold hand sent a wave of heat to my center. She ripped my shirt, therefore avoiding to interrupt our heated kiss.

I never made love to a woman in my entire existence, but at this moment exactly I felt like I knew what I was doing. Like my hands were created only to please her body. For once in my life, my mind, my heart and my body were reaching for the same goal pleasing, that sample of heaven that was lying under me.

My lips left her mouth to outline her neck, ,stopping for a moment in a vain attempt to leave a mark on her, she was mine I wanted to see it, I wanted her to see it. I heard a roar of pleasure, a lava of passion elapsed in me. I wanted her, I wanted more of her, and I wanted it now. Desire and apprehension intertwined in me, making my hand tremble to the fabric of her bra. I slide my hand, grazing the fabrics and was surprised at how quickly her nipples responded to my touch. becoming hard asking me with the strength of their erection more attention. I gave them. Removing that useless and cumbersome cloth.

Her breasts were full and pale, I wanted to possess them as much as I wanted to pampered them. I I let my tongue tease one while my hand massaged the other. Alice whispered something that my senses didn't catch. I gave her breasts more moments, to give them all the pleasure I could . Then slowly I started using my lips with work my way up her intimacy.

Lust and fear made my own center throb in need, as I was reaching to take her last piece of cloth off, her hands reached, I met her eyes, and I saw the unasked question _Are you sure?_ I loved her more than a second before. I nodded. How could I resist? How could I doubt? How could I deny her a pleasure I felt I was born to give her.

When she was fully naked, I took a second to watch her, to watch all of her, for the first time. For the first time of a long non-ending list of times. When I kissed her center mine was already soaked. As I slid my tongue in her I felt her whole body react, I didn't what I was doing but if it was good for her than I am sure as hell carrying on.

I felt her inners reacting claiming for more, I joined my fingers to the dance of my tongue, Alice gasped. I kept my movements realizing that I enjoyed every bit of what making love to her meant. When I felt her rising orgasm, I gave more intensity to my actions. As she came she screamed my name, her whole body clenched in pleasure. Her unneeded breathing was erratic. Making Alice releasing her orgasm with my name as a symphony was one of the greatest moments I'll ever live and I knew it. She was so beautiful, unbelievingly beautiful. My angle.

I didn't even realize that she was on the top of me, in not even an eye blink, her body was pressed on my center. I was feeling too much. Her mouth was on mine as her hands undressed me with a desirable ferocity. Her hands were everywhere much to my delight. My breasts were given exclusive attention, as her lips undertook to do as mine never forget their touch. My nipples were painfully erected, she kissed my pulse point, lingering a bit more on it, but I wasn't scared I couldn't be anymore, not after seeing all of her. Alice can't harm, her grace wouldn't allow it.

Suddenly I felt her fingers inside of me, I was so wet, the effect she had on me was more so much more than I ever thought was possible. Her movement was quick and tender and my climax was building quickly I knew it wouldn't be long before her name escaped my lips in a pleasurable plea.

She kept going, my hands were on her hair pulling her as close to me as our body allowed it. When I came, my body shaking, it was like a heavenly made convulsion. _Alice my love, you are perfect. _Alice only her name seemed to be worthy of escaping my lips at that moment.

I laid beside her, our naked bodies desiring to touch again. My legs weren't back from orgasm-land that I wanted her to take me again. Seemingly hearing my silent wish Alice, pulled herself on the top of me.

We made love that night, we made love until my body couldn't take to be pleasured anymore, until my eyes closed and I drifted to sleep. My head on her chest. If perfection was a moment it would be this one. If love was a moment it would be this one.

I woke up a few hours later, Alice was still next to me, she was always there when I woke up, she only left once but even then she wrote a note. If I wasn't sure that she loved me, this itself was proof enough. She could spend her nights doing whatever she wanted, but she always spent them next to me. In exchange I knew that I would give her all my nights and all my days, all those she'll claim, all those she desired . All those I was lucky enough to give her.

"Good morning my love" she said

"Hey" I whispered

"Do I still have to wait before morning kisses?" she smiled

I nodded, the fact is that I'll always brush my teeth before kissing her was important for me, I wanted all our kisses to taste good. Every single one we'll ever share. Every one of the many many, never enough kisses we'll share.

I ran to the bathroom, to be able to kiss my mate, when I came back into the room there was a plate with breakfast on it on the bed.

"When did you do that?"

"When you were in the bathroom"

"You're that fast aren't you"

"Kiss me" she said pulling me close to her.

I obliged. I kissed her. It was our first kiss after our making love. And now that I knew the pleasure these lips, and this tongue could give, I cherished them even more. I try to push the kiss further but she stopped it.

"Eat your breakfast" she said

"It can wait"

"Please Bella, once I see you eat I'll stop worrying about it" she pouted.

Could I ever deny her anything? Did I want to ever deny her anything?

I sat down to eat my second best choice of that morning

"Alice?" I asked nervously

"Yes,my love"

"I was wondering, look I know yesterday it was...I mean-"

"You were great" she cut me off " I saw what you were going to ask and Bella do you honestly have to ask. You were the best lover I've ever had, and the best one I'll ever have. It was like you were listening to my body. I mean Bella I love you and my body loves you you're my mate"

I felt relieved, I was a lucky person my first time has been dedicated to the one.

"And how was it for you?" she asked

"Perfect" I answered "I am just happy you were my first time"

"I wish I could've been smart enough to wait until I had you" she said sadly

_I wished too, I wish there was none else who ever touched you. But I love you._

"It's okay as long as you promise I'll be your last time" I smiled

"This wonderful body of mine is now your propriety miss Swan" she laughed

Life could be perfect …

**So that's it first lemon ever so don't be too harsh on me please (pout)**

**As always sorry for any mistake.**

**And let me know what you think and what do you want to happen Sunday I am opened to suggestions since it is a daily writing.**

**Thank you :)**


	9. exinteratus

_"This wonderful body of mine is now your propriety miss Swan" she laughed_

_Life could be perfect …_

As I finish my breakfast, I was deep in thoughts.

"Alice what do you usually do when it's sunny" I said noticing how clear the sky was that day.

"We go to a lake not too far from here and we spend the day playing" she smiled

"What do you play?" I asked curious

"Underwater wrestling, race, anything to prove to others we're stronger, faster, or smarter" she laughed " like every family really"

I could never play these games with her, I was just a human with a fifty seconds appear record. There were so many things I could not share with Alice, so much …

I had already thought several times about asking her if she knew about what our future would be made of ... ask her if one day my eyes will be of a shiny gold too, if one day I also would have cold skin. But I was scared, so afraid that she rejects me, she does even think about it ... so scared that our relationship has a sate expiration term. So I said nothing.

But yesterday she loved me, she promised with her lips a love I never dared to ask for. She swore with her hands a tenderness I could only wish for.

Now that I was here next to her, now that I realized that I needed her to know how I feel. I mustered the courage to face that question. The question that has been playing a soft torture on me every day.

"Alice?"

"Yes my angel"

"Will you always love me ?"

"As long as I live" she smiled

"Alice, you should rather say as long as I would live, like me not you?"

"Bella what do you mean?" she sat up to face me

"I'm human, I will die first" I said in a clinical way

When I saw the pain through her eyes, I regretted my tone.

"Bella" her voice pleaded. As if These words I just said cut her chairs and that I should not throw any others of this kind.

"Alice,it's the truth," I said, stroking her cheek.

"So I would like as long as you let me by your side to love you" she said without smiling.

"But I want you forever"

"So do I, see this worked out perfectly" she smiled

"Alice" I said frustrated "You can promise eternity because you have it"

"Bella, what is this truly about. You're not questioning my love for you, are you?"

"No, no, of course not. Alice what I am trying to say is that. When you say you'll love me forever are you planning on giving me the chance to do the same"

"Bella" she sighed "This is way too soon for this conversation to even occur"

"But it will? Occur I mean?" I asked

"Yes it will" she smiled

"And did you see the outcome?"

"You are curious"

"It's okay, I'll wait as long as you promise me you'll do it"

"Bella, I promise that when the time comes, and your decision has been fully thought through I'll make you one of ours."

I was going to be with her, not for years but for decades...even centuries...

"But for today, my love, please tell me what you want to do" she asked

_You!_ "Hum see I've recently acquired a new propriety I would like to enjoy"

"You did, didn't you?" she laughed

I captured her lips, tenderly...I don't know how I've managed to go that long before claiming her body. We spent the whole morning repeating last night performances and improving them.

At noon Alice got out of bed.

"Get dressed, I have plans for us my love" she said.

"Why? We have the house for ourselves and making love to you seems like the best plan" I whined

"I promise it's a good plan" she smiled

"Not as good as mine" I said

"Probably not, my love, since there is no sweetest thing to me in this entire world than making love to you. But I promise it's worth it" she smiled "please" she pouted.

Alice 1 – my hormones 0

Every time she pouts she knows she has me. Nothing I wouldn't do for this pout. Nothing.

I got dressed and into the car without complaining too much. Plus last time I tried to complain Alice laughed and kiss my cheek and whispered "thank you for coming" in my ears. She thanked me for coming! After that what could I do except worship my fate.

As always the destination was a mystery to me.

She pulled the car in the school parking.

"Alice did you really brought me to school on a Sunday?"

"I've never asked you on a second real date" she stated

"What does that have to do with school?"

"I chose the meadow for our first date, because I loved the way we felt the day we kissed for the first time. But there is another meaningful place in our relationship"

"School?"

"Follow me"

I did as I was told, when we faced the closed door, Alice pulled a key out of her purse.

"You have the school key?"

"I am full of surprises she grinned"

I still had no idea what she was talking about, what are we doing in school.

She opened the door and dragged me inside.

"Alice where are we going?"

She didn't answer instead she lifted me and ran inside biology class.

"Here we are" she smiled.

As she put me on my feet I noticed a golden onion on our common table.

"Wait here" she said disappearing.

I walked in the class. Alice wanted to take me on a second date in a classroom. I didn't know if I found it adorably weird or just weird.

"Here I am" she said pulling a basket full of Esmee's food "I know you must think this is odd, but without this class Bella, you would never have talked to me. And I just felt like we should enjoy it since none is around today.

I grabbed her and kissed her. Okay my Alice had weird dates ideas but who cares she's caring, and loving, and thoughtful and romantic. I'll date her even if it was in the janitor's locker.

The date was actually fun.

"Alice we should head back" I said after finishing food

"No my love, there is one thing we haven't done yet" she grinned

She went and closed all the class room curtains.

Alice and I possessed each other's bodies in that science class.

Every course I'll ever have again in here are going to taste like her.

"It's the only reason you brought me here, isn't it?"

"I admit when I first knew you were my mate, having to sit next to you without touching you was really hard. This is my personal reward" she grinned

"Well, my sweet little pixie you can reward yourself again, as many times as you wish" I whispered in her ears.

And it was enough to turn her on for another round.

When we head back to the Cullen's I knew it was our last evening alone. And all I wanted to do was enjoy her. We could talk, cuddle, anything as long as we took advantage of the intimacy that has been given to us.

**Next Chapter the quiet evening … will not be so quiet**

**I am deeply sorry for this chapter I wasn't inspired at all**

**Crazy heart 101 I loved your idea but I'm going to keep I for a skipping school chapter**

**I love your reviews**

**Thank You :)**


	10. Videntis

_When we head back to the Cullen's I knew it was our last evening alone. And all I wanted to do was enjoy her. We could talk, cuddle, anything as long as we took advantage of the intimacy that has been given to us._

"So, what shall we do tonight?" I asked Alice as I hug her from behind.

"I was thinking, movie and cuddling" she crinkled her nose adorably.

Anything for you, love of mine...

"OK, but I choose the movie" I pouted

"Fine, but I maintain I have an excellent when It comes to movies" she said childishly

"If you say so" I laughed.

I quickly settled my choice on Men In Black, don't ask me why...I have no idea.

"Men in black, really?"

"Yes, it's a cool movie"

"I know but is that the kind of movies you like?"

"Yes, I mean I don't know I like all kind of movies"

"I can't wait to find out every little thing about you, my sweet Bella"

We sat on the couch Alice on my lap. I loved having her there, I realized that even if she was a vampire and stronger than I'll ever be I wanted to protect her. If I could wrap her in my body for her to never get hurt I'll do it in a heart beat.

For once her head was in the crook of my neck and not the other way around. I loved it, that in moments like that she let herself lean on me. Alice opens up to me everyday a little bit more. Now I could hardly believe that this was the same Alice who has been so tense and harsh to me.

At some point in the movie, I felt her whole body freeze, again a vision. I waited patiently just like I learned to.

"Alice is everything okay?"

Her face didn't reflect any emotion at all. It worried me.

"For now my love there is nothing to worry about" she smiled. But her eyes told me she was keeping something from me.

"Alice you are keeping something from me" I stated

"I am, my love, but I want to spend this evening with you" she started kissing my neck "And without a care in the world" she sucked my pulse point and her hands cupped my breasts "No past, no future" she took off my shirt "Just us now" and with that she attacked my lips.

I knew she was hiding something from me, but she was right, I didn't have to know. And if my mate, my one and only wanted to spare me a night of worry and replace it with a night of love than I could only love her.

Monday morning came all too soon for my liking, especially since Alice didn't exactly allow me to sleep. Not that I am complaining, because I am not.

"Good morning beautiful" she said kissing my forehead

"Morning"

"You should get up and dressed, breakfast is on the kitchen table" she smiled "I'll go hunt and come back to shower then we can leave for school, Okay"

"Okay" I mumbled

"You only heard half of what I said, haven't you?"

I nodded.

Alice and I were driving to school, she didn't talk about her vision and I haven't asked, she knows that I know she's keeping something from me, she'll tell me when she feels like it.

I was surprised to see the other Cullens back at school, they were waiting for us.

"So what did you do this week-end? Anything interesting" winked Emmett

I blushed furiously.

"Emmett!" said Rose slapping his arm.

"What it is natural curiosity" he grinned

"Forgive him Bella" smiled Edward, the he turned to Alice "I see in what situation you like someone to call you pixie" he laughed.

I heard a growl coming from Alice.

My blush wasn't getting any better.

"Let me walk you to class" said Alice.

"See you later guys" I waved them.

"Excuse them Bella, we're just too close I guess" she smiled apologetically

"It's okay, just the time to get used to it" I said

We arrived in front of my classroom.

"See you at lunch?" I said

"Actually no, the sun is coming back so, we're going to skip"

"Oh" I said

"Yes, but I'll be back to drive you home" she smiled

"Okay" I said kissing her lips.

"Have a good day my love" she smiled

"And have fun wherever you'll be" I muttered

She laughed "I promise to tune out the fun in an act of solidarity with your school duty"

"Okay" I smiled

Alice sent me texts all day, she wasn't here with me, but unlike last time, this time she kept me in touch.

When the day finally ended her car was there.

"Hello" she smiled

"Hi" I leaned in and kissed her

"Bells, there is something I need to talk to you about"

"Is this about your vision?"

She nodded. " I didn't see everything clearly, but I need to ask you something"

"What is it?"

"If I asked you to stay away from me for your own good, would you?"

"You've already tried that it didn't work" I tried to smiled even though I was panicking.

"This time it's not from me that the danger is coming. Bella if I got on my knees right now and begged you to never talk to me again and act like we didn't know each other, would you?"

"Alice, what is this about?"

"Would you?"

"No, no Alice it will kill me to stay away from you I don't see how it is for my own good. Alice tell me what you saw"

"The future is subjective it all can change, if major decisions are taken. In my vision Bella you were unharmed, but there was a battle"

"What does that have to do with us?"

"That I didn't see, but I know that it has to do with us" she said

"Alice, if I was unharmed, who was harmed?"

"It doesn't matter, my love. I don't want you to be involved in any battle"

"You can't leave me. Whatever you saw, I need you Alice and I know you need me too. So don't do anything that could hurt us"

She smiled.

"You are right my love, forget I said anything"

"You are still keeping something from me"

"Yes, but for now. You don't need to know. And I don't have the strength to tell you. And it can change"

"You'll tell me before it happens?"

"I will. I love you Bella more than I love anything or anyone else. Please know that"

"I know, I love you too"

When I was home I couldn't help but replaying the conversation. What was going on in Alice's head? Why did she sound so resigned at the end? I couldn't stop worrying I only knew one thing Alice will tell me before whatever is going to happen, does happen.

I slept awfully that night, without my marble pillow. Perfect chest to lay my head on.

**What did Alice see?**

**Who is going to be harmed?**

**This is the last villain-less chapter.**

**I won't update tomorrow though.**

**This chapter should have been directly written with the "exinteratus" **

**Thank you.**


	11. primitiæ de veris

Alice was being weird, I mean she was still her usual self, but she would always let her mind drift away. Sometimes she'll start have these silent conversations with Edward, he always looked so sad, and she looked resigned. I know I said I wouldn't push it but I am pretty sure it's about what she saw.

I am scared she decided she'll leave me anyway. I am terrified that someday I just woke up and she wasn't there anymore. I know I trust her, but I love her so much, I love her and therefore I can't help but worry, I can't help the sour taste in my mouth every time I was with her and her mind wandered somewhere else. Sometimes I feel a sharp pain in my heart, because I know that there is something big that is going on, but I a too weak to be let in. What helps me is to see that apparently no other than Edward knows. But the whole Cullen clan noticed. They were not very subtle. When Alice sits next to Edward immediately his face contorts in pain. We tried not to sit next to them one day, Alice said we should have intimacy, we just had the time to settle at another table, before her bronze haired brother came to ask us to sit with them. Alice looked at him with gratitude written on her face. I don't ask but I want to know. None of the Cullen's asks but we all want to know.

Today I have a free period, so I sat on the grass next to school, while Alice is in British literature course. I let my mind replay the whole Vision's situation wondering if I should ask or not. I mean most of the time she was laughing and chatting be her usual joyful self.

Another weird thing is that, she is kissing me more than before, I mean she always steal kisses that I gladly give, but when she stays with me at night, she's not that happy about letting me sleep, she tries to make conversations last longer. Before this vision every time I showed even a small sign of tiredness she'd tell me to go to sleep. Now she ignored them and I now fall asleep in the middle of our conversations. It's like she wants to get all my free time, which I love but it's not Alice-like not my Alice's style.

"Hello" I heard behind me

I turn around to see Rosalie.

"Hi" I said

This was weird Rosalie and I never talked beside when we were in a group.

"How are you?" I asked

"I am here to talk about Alice" she said "I know you've noticed too, something is off with her lately"

"I know" I said "Do you think she's okay?"

"I don't know, when we get home, usually she just wants to go back at yours, now she just asked Edward to hunt with her, they stay there far longer than necessary, and sometimes they come back without even feeding and he'll always look so sad and she looks...-"

"Resigned" I finished for her.

"Exactly" she said "Alice is my little sister, I'd do anything for her but not when she wouldn't let us in. I was hoping you had answers but you seem as lost as me" she smiled sadly

"I'd do anything for her too, you know" I said

"I hope, not that I doubt your words, but that's exactly what they are Bella words"

"No, not just words vows" I said

"It was nice talking to you Bella, I think Carlistle and Esmee are getting tired of secrets too, when the time comes they will convoke us all to talk, I'll call you that day, you should be there you're as much Alice's family as us. You deserve to know" she said getting up

"Thank you"

I was waiting for my girlfriend outside her class.

"Hello" I said when she got out

Her face lit up with a smile, she always did that. I love it.

"Bella, I missed you" she said kissing me.

"It was only an hour, Al"

"It's already too long" she smiled against my lips.

She grabbed my hand to lead me to the car.

"Bells would you like to spend sometimes with me at the clairiere, before I drive you home" she smiled.

"Yes, of course, but I do have to be home a bit early"

"You'll be" she said.

When we were at this Clairiére we always shared happy memories, I knew that as long as we were here we'll be okay.

"Bells, you love this place, right?" she smiled

"I do"

She came and hugged me from behind.

"What do you feel when we're here?" she asked

"Safe" I answered truthfully.

She laughed, but her laugh was somewhat off. It's like even her laugh hid something from the world. It broke my heart to hear that type of laugh, coming from her lips, so beautiful lips.

"You'll always be safe here, remember that. Here I can protect you" she said somehow solemnly

"I will" I said.

We held our position for what felt like minutes, in complete silence. As if the landscape gave us some of the relaxation we once shared with it.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Can you tell me that you love me?" she said her voice eroded with emotion.

I turned around, her eyes reflected nothing but love.

"I love you, Alice Cullen, I am in love with you."

"I love you too, I love every second I get to share with you"

She grabbed my lips, and kissed me.

"Alice what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, I just needed to hear it" she smiled

"I love you"

She kissed me again.

We laid in the grass, and she snuggled against me. she tangled our feet, she buried her head in my neck. As if her body Desired only one thing merge with mine.

That night Alice said she couldn't spend the night, she had to hunt. When I was going to fall asleep my phone ringed.

"Hello" I said

"_Hi, Bella it's Rosalie"_

"Is Alice okay?" I asked panicked

"_We are going to find out tonight, Carlistle said everyone should be in the living room in an hour I'll come and get you"_

"Okay, thank you Rosalie"

"_No problem"_

I hang up and called Charlie to let him know that I'll spend the night there, because we had homework to do, which in a way wasn't exactly a lie...Okay I lied.

Riding with Rosalie was different than with Alice, she drove at a slower rate, and she didn't talk...at all.

When we arrived at the Cullen's house, Esmee opened the door for me.

"Hello, Bella"

"Hi, Esmee, how are you?"

"I will suppose the same as you" she smiled

"Worried" I stated

She nodded, and walked us to the living room. Everyone was there except Alice and Edward.

"They'll be here soon" said Carlistle " I am glad you came, These kind of things must be handled with all the family"

Is it possible for your heart to blush...No. It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me, They were all so welcoming they are the brothers and sisters I never had.

"Thank you" I said.

Emmett for once seemed tense, he looked at me. He had a look that was easy to read "_What's going on with my little sister?"_

I was in a room where everyone loved Alice, and everyone knew that no matter the act, no matter the words she used, something was wrong. And I was sure everyone here will do anything her can to make her feel better.

"Bella, do you understand why we're all here?"

"Yes, I think something is wrong with Alice, I think she saw something in a vision and even though she won't tell me what she saw it messes with her head"

"Exactly, Alice joined this coven decades ago, since that moment she became its living joy." said Esmee

"She's the one that can make us all process all the wrongs with the amount of rights she brings" added Carlistle.

"She made me the happiest man alive, by helping accept my feelings for Edward, me the southerner gentleman, she made me see where my happiness was. I owe her" stated Jasper

"We all do, she was a light in all of our darkest days" I've never heard Emmett speak that sternly.

"They are coming" said Calistle

Only a few seconds later the door was opened, revealing a sad Edward, and a surprised Alice.

She literally flew towards me "Is everything okay?"

I nodded. My little pixie always worried about me.

"Bella is fine, we are all here to talk with you Alice"

"About what?" she asked innocently.

"About whatever it is that makes you spend hours out with Edward. And makes you this taciturn version of you" said Rosalie, there was no harshness in her voice just pure worry.

"There is nothing to talk about" said Alice

"Alice, I think you should tell them. They have the right to know, plus we planned on telling them in three days so now or then it doesn't make a difference" Edward spoke, his voice sounded so tired, almost broken.

She looked like she was thinking deeply about it.

"Okay" she sighed...

**I will update the rest later tonight...I hope.**

**Let me know what you think :)**

**Thank You**


	12. non moriamini

" When we were alone with Bella, I had a vision, but first there are some things you all should know about my past"

I nodded.

"When I was first changed, I didn't remember who my maker was I was a lost vampire, I had no idea what to do or how to do it. I was guided by thirst, and I fought it as hard as I could, but at some point I couldn't bare the thirst anymore" her voice strangled with dry sobs.

I got up and wrapped my arms around her.

"It doesn't matter what you did Alice, all that matters is who you are and what you do right now" I whispered.

The entire living room was silent, and I guessed that it wasn't just Alice who regretted what she once was. They looked all so sad, they did more than understand their sister's pain, they shared it equally and reflected it.

"At some point" her voice was shaking, it was hoarse "I was guided to the Volturi." She looked at me "The Volturi are some kind of royalty. They are the authority to prevent vampires from exposing themselves. They do the whole damage control. At the time I still hadn't have a single vision about this coven. The point is, Aro the master of the clan, to put it like that was fascinated by my gift. He offered me a roof and all the knowledge I needed and I helped him by seeing if there will be any attacks against him or his clan." She stopped and I stroke her back to tell her nothing has change. She is still my one. "In the clan there was a girl named Jane, she was so nice to me, it's difficult to explain. I didn't remember any of my friends, hell I don't even know if I had friends, but Jane, she was my friend. We got along, she showed me a world, that I didn't know. There were many points on which we disagreed. I hated to have to kill to live. I hated that I couldn't control my urges. If I could I would've let myself die but I couldn't. Jane hated that I felt guilty for what was natural for her. Soon what I thought was friendship was becoming something else for her. She was obsessed I couldn't talk to anyone else without having to face terrible jealousy. She would get so angry, but I did what she wanted me to do, otherwise..." her voice strangled up again.

"It's okay honey, take your time" said Esmee.

Alice buried her face in my neck, and inhaled a few times. Like she was trying to get strength out of my smell.

"Alice did Jane use her power on you?" asked Carlistle

She nodded against my neck.

"How did she dare!"

It was the first and I hope the last time of my life that I heard Carlistle voice raised. I looked at him his fists were clenched.

Not a single whisper, in the living room. Even the air seemed to get silent. From the faces of the Cullen's I could tell, that Carlistle didn't raise his voice often. It felt like minutes for him to gain composure again, but was really only few seconds.

"Alice, answer me honestly please" this time his voice was pleading "did she ever made you do anything you didn't want to do?"

She nodded again, not leaving my neck.

I heard a long groan of anger escape Edward's throat. And I felt a wave of panic drowning me.

"Alice, did Jane ever use her gift to..."Whatever Carlistle was trying to say he seemed to not have the strength to say it.

"Yes Carlistle she did" Edward put so much ferocity in his words that it shut everyone up.

Carlistle throat let out an angry lament.

Alice's sobs became harder, and her whole body was fighting them. I was trying to soothe her, to make her feel better, I rubbed her back, kissed her hair, tighten my grip around her. Seeing, feeling Alice in such pain it didn't just break my heart it filled me with rage, animalistic rage. I still didn't understand what was happening but whatever Jane did, whoever this Jane is I will make her pay. I will spend my entire existence and my eternity if Alice graced me of it to make her pay.

"Can anyone fill us in" said Esmee.

Carlistle cleared his throat.

"Jane's power, is to make any human body feel unbearable pain, it works the same on humans and vampires. It makes each one of your muscles reach the maximum bearable pain level. But she also prevent you from fainting. Fainting is one of the last protections of your body and brain. When it's too much you shut down. With Jane you don't."

Rosalie got up from the couch and walked towards us. She looked at me as if asking my permission. I nodded and she sat next to us, helping me sooth Alice. Jasper was probably sending waves of calm to my mate because she slowly was getting back composure.

"Alice do you want me to tell them the rest of the story?" asked Carlistle.

She shook her head.

"I'll do it, I won't let her make me ashamed of her mistakes" she said fiercely. "If I did talk to other people she'd make me pay with pain. At first she always said that she had no control over her power. And I understood that. I tried to help her even after she put me through hell. One day I overheard that Jane has been in the clan for centuries thus she gained total control of her power. I was so angry that she lied to me, that she tortured me and had me comforting her afterwards. I was so pissed that I didn't even took the time to check the outcome of the meeting. I just ran to her and yelled at her...And then she...used her power again, but that time she...She also..."

She didn't need to finish that sentence, we all understood.

Rage pure wrath and rage was written on all of our faces. I've never felt closer to the Cullen's because right now Jane was dead, she was a dead girl walking. We would spend every piece of energy, every drag of breath to make sure she is dead.

I didn't even realize tears were flowing from my eyes. My Alice has been hurt and in the worst way.

"When it happened, I went to Aro, I let him see everything. He was always kind to me. And when he saw he gave me a vision of Carlistle, he set me free. And I ran to find you."

"Alice" Esmee's voice was gentle, tender and sad at the same time "Why didn't you tell us any of that before?"

"When I found you, you were all so nice, really nice, I didn't think I could trust again, but I trusted you all in a heartbeat. But it never felt like the moment to tell you. Nor did I have a reason to tell you until now" she whispered.

"What did you see?" asked Rosalie.

"Since I've been here Aro always denied Jane information about where I was, but recently he told her. Apparently she convinced him that I was her mate and she deserved a chance to explain herself and to make me forgive her. But that's not what I saw. Jane somehow knows about Bella, she came here in order to kill Bella but she won't succeed I saw her fail"

A soft relief escaped every mouth, except Edward's.

"Alice, tell them everything" it was a pleading sigh.

"When Jane will fail killing Bella, she'll choose another target and succeed"

"Jane is going to kill you" whispered Rosalie.

Alice nodded her head. "Yes, she is. That's why I was disappearing with Edward, he read me when we came back from school on Monday. Since then we've been planning what should happen afterwards. Anyway she won't hurt Bella"

"No!" I exclaimed, I got up off the couch not even looking at her"Let her kill me" I was yelling at her.

When I looked down, her face reflected all the sadness her features could express.

"I won't Bella, I tried seeing every possible outcome, I even considered changing you sooner. Nothing seems to do the trick" she let out tiredly. " I am so sorry"

"Why are you sorry? Tell me why?" I kept yelling at her. I couldn't stop. If I let my sadness overpower my anger I'd die. I'd die of pain. I'd die of a heartbreak.

"Because I wanted to spend so much more time with you" she whispered more to herself.

I left the living room. I exit the house. I had to gasp for air. This can't be possible, she is lying, she can't die. It can't happen. It won't, she won't die.

"Where do you think you're going?" I hear Rosalie yell at me before grabbing my arm.

"Rosalie let her go" said Alice her voice so tired. I never want to hear her like that.

"I am not leaving" I said indignantly " I needed air, I needed to breathe"

"It's okay Bella, you can leave, things will be easier" she said, once again resigned.

Of all the things that drove me mad completely consumed my anger, the worst was her resignation.

"No, none of this is easy, none of this will be easy. Plus it can change, you said it yourself future change depending on decisions. Well not just yours Alice, or even hers all of us matter. And you couldn't know the outcome because you didn't gave us the choice. You decided that your death was acceptable and you assumed we all will do the same when the time has come. Now tell me how am I your mate if I don't even have a say in life-or-death matters? How Alice?"

"Bella, you should calm down" murmured Jasper loud enough.

"No, she is right" Emmett spoke for the first time "How can you just decide for all of us? How would you react If I hid my soon death to you? Tell me Alice would you still call me brother if I hid something like that from you!"

Emmett and I share the same rage. It made me feel good to lash out.

"Stop!" said Esme her voice was nothing but stern. "I forbid you to question Alice's loyalty when it comes to this family, any of you. You are yelling at her because it's easy. I could scream at her, I am her mother and she left me in the dark. But I don't. Because she made a mistake, but she's been carrying a death sentence on her shoulders for weeks, been carrying pain that none of us know and she never ever questioned you. So don't you dare.."

I was ashamed, she was right we were angry at the only person who never showed anything but respect and love even to our flaws. We were lashing out because it was easier blaming her than facing the truth.

"It's okay" whispered Alice.

"No, it's not. Nothings okay"

I wrapped her in my arms, for the first time Alice seemed too frail. Like she could break at any moment.

"We should head back inside" Said Carlistle

Emmet came next to us.

"I am sorry Alice, I didn't mean to yell. But trust me I don't care what your visions says this bitch isn't even coming near you"

He walked ahead. Leaving me with Alice I should apologize too. I feel like the worst person on earth yelling at her while she was going to give her life away just for me to be okay.

"I am sorry too Al, so sorry. I couldn't, I can't handle the pain of thinking about loosing you, so loosing you will kill me"

"Don't say things like that Bella, please" she whispered in my neck.

"I will say them, if it gives you strength to fight harder, if it takes that look of resignation out of your face, to never let it return again, then I will"

We were all sitting in the living room again.

"Alice what Bella said earlier is correct" said Carlistle.

"Which part?" I asked

"Alice didn't see all the possible outcomes, she couldn't have because a lot of decisions weren't made. However it is understandable, when our mate is in danger we'll choose the safest way out. But Alice, first of all, future will change we will make sure of it. Secondly whatever happens Jane will die for what she did to you and that's a promise none can hurt you like that and get away with it right?"

All the Cullen's me included nodded in agreement.

"And finally, next time you get a vision of anyone possibly dying, you included please come to me" the last one was almost pleading.

Alice nodded.

"Now tell us the details of when and where so we can plan how to get rid of this harlot"

"Carlistle!"exclaimed Esmee

The whole room erupted in laughter, even Alice. At that moment I understood why Carlistle was a good father.

"Okay ..."

**I know again!**

**I hope this meets your expectations. I didn't want to make you wait till tomorrow.**

**If you enjoyed it let me know. It would give me clues about how the rest of the story would go...**

**Thank you :)**


	13. Cinere

" If my vision is correct she should be in Forks in three weeks. As for her plan I don't know anything all I know is that in my vision she kills me next to the lake where we go camping on sunny days"

"Fine, for the coming week I want you to keep acting normal at school, and we'll train to fight at night" said Carlisle "I will gather as many information as I can about Jane and the Volturi and we'll handle things when the time comes"

All the Cullen's nodded in agreement.

"Okay, for now Alice why don't you take Bella to your room, you have school in only a few hours, let her get some sleep" smiled Esmee.

"Okay" said Alice

She guided me to her room.

"I won't be able to sleep, Alice" I said

"I am sorry" she said

She was looking from the window.

"Alice please stop saying you're sorry. I should be apologizing I yelled at you"

"You had every right to"

"Damn right I had, but still I shouldn't have" I smiled

I walked towards her and hugged her.

"I love you Bella"

"I love you Alice Cullen and we are going to love each other for a very, very long time" I smiled in her hair

We laid on her bed. I wasn't even slightly tired, and I knew I will regret it tomorrow, but still.

Again she leaned on me completely, and I held her.

"Alice, Jane was your first time?" I asked cursing myself for my bluntness

She nodded against my skin "The first that I remember"

"Just so you know, human or not the day I'll see her I'll kill her" I said

"Don't try to fight her Bella, none of them should try" she said bitterly "I won't let you face her anyway"

"Alice, change me, change me now"

"Bella, you are not serious" she said focusing her eyes on mine.

"Yes, Alice I am, I want to fight for you, I want to be able to fight with you"

"No"

"Alice you promised that you would do it when I'll be ready. When I'll be sure I am. I've been since the moment I thought about eternity with you"

"Bella, being a vampire is not just live eternally, it is also loosing a lot of things. You're not ready to say goodbye to Charlie, or Renée, you are not ready to decide whether you want to give birth or not. You are not ready for any of that"

"I am not ready to stay back while everyone else is fighting for your life. I am not ready to stand still while your whole world is shattering to pieces. I am not ready to face a life where all I'll be for you in a time of crisis is a burden" I said a few tears escaping my eyes.

"Hey, everything is fine. Bells you'll never be a burden to me. God you'll never be even close. You are my life, Bella please drop your transformation subject. At least for a few days, please" she pleaded.

It sealed my lips. I can't put her in more pain than she already is. I can't and I won't. But I am not letting it go. I'll be one of them. I'll fight for her. Whether she wants it or not. I'm with Emmett, no way this bitch hurts her. Not again. Not under my watch.

I figured it'll take some time to Alice to become herself again.

Never go to school without a good night of sleep, never.

Or it could be the death threat over my mate's head.

Or it is my sleeping issues. We'll never know.

Alice didn't talk much, this morning, not at the house nor in the car. She's been very quiet.

She just said she'll drive me home, but she wanted to hang out before. I wanted to hang out. Maybe id we get to spend some time alone she'll open up. She'll expose her scars again so I can take care of them. Because right now that's all I wanted to do. Make her feel better.

I shared my English class with Edward, he sat beside me.

"Yesterday was rough" he stated

I only nodded

"I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I couldn't betray Alice's trust. I could never do that"

"I don't blame Edward. I don't blame Alice either"

"Yesterday, it seemed like you did"

"Yesterday I blamed the whole world, today I still do. But I know that Alice isn't going to die"

"How do you know?" he asked raising an eyebrow

"I thought about it, and I know that she won't I feel it"

He nodded.

"You know, when Alice and I were going for these hunts, she always talked about you, I felt like she didn't regret dying at all, what she regrets was not having enough time with you. She wanted everything she had to be given to you. She selected a thing she wanted to leave behind for every member of the family. If I thought my sister was selfless before, she proven herself more than I ever believed"

I smiled that sounds like Alice. That sounds like perfection. That sounds like my mate.

"Tell me She still have hope Edward"

"She does, even when she was at her lowest she had hope. Today she has far more than yesterday. And it is going to get better. My sister is a fighter"

"Yes, I just wish I could fight next to her" I said more to myself.

Edward smiled. It seemed like he knew something.

When I got out of the classroom, I found Emmett waiting for me. Which was definitely odd. But normality seemed to have vanish of my world recently.

"Bella, let me walk you to class" he said

I nodded

"I heard what you said to Alice yesterday'" he stated

"I know"

"Bella, when the time comes if Alice refuses to change you, I will"

I stopped walking abruptly and stared at him like I was seeing him for the first time.

"What?"

"Alice is my only sister, I love her to pieces. But right now she is not in her right mind. And transforming you is difficult for her because all she remembers from her human life is the pain of the transformation. But I know her, and I hope I can say that I'm starting to know you and the truth is you'll be like us, for your sake and for hers."

"Thank you Emmett"

"Don't than me yet, if we do it against Alice's will, she is going to give us hell. She can be very bitchy when she wants" he let out a laugh.

Knowing that Emmett had my back eased the tension in my shoulders. He loved Alice as strongly as I did, differently maybe, but strongly for sure. I'll fight for her that I will.

When the school ended. I found Alice waiting for me. Her face was getting less tired, and the lying pain and resignation were slowly vanishing. It made me happy, at least slightly to see that she was happier, and that Edward was right she was getting hope...

"Hey Alice" I hugged her and kissed her lovingly. I wanted to give myself completely to her

"Hello, my love" she inhaling my hair's scent

"So where are you taking me?" I asked as we took place in the car.

"I didn't actually plan anything I just want to talk to you"

"Anymore bombshell announces?" I asked scared

"No Bells, nothing. Let's go somewhere only we know"

"Did you just quote Keane?"

"Who?"

"Forget it, Al let's go somewhere only we know" I smiled

We arrived at the Clairiére.

"Bells I wanted to apologize for yesterday, I should have told you sooner. I am sorry you had to see me break."

"I refuse to hear you say that"

"What?"

"You said we were meant to be together. So you should never apologize for breaking down in front of me. As for your vision Al I was mad, but I realize that it wasn't easy for you either. And I love you. I forgive you"

"You know Rosalie says Humans don't get love. I think you understand better than I do" she smiled and wrapped her arms around me.

"Alice?"

"Yes, my love"

"You are going to live, you know that right?"

She exhaled

"I hope"

"No, Alice I know it. Please trust me when I say she won't kill you"

"She won't"

"Because you have an army, me included, ready to go fight her even in hell"

"I love you Bella Swan. I am the luckiest person to have you as my mate"

"Same here"

"Alice?"

"Yes" she said huskily

"Make love to me"

"I waited all day for that sentence" she laughed, and here I saw my Alice. Rising from ashes.

**Today's chapter.**

**Next one will be the training.**

**I think Emmett and Alice share a particular love, strong and different that's why I think he would turn Bella for Alice's sake.**

**Thank you :)**


	14. Postremo

**I am truly sorry for talking so long to update and by not having more to publish, but my computer crashed with everythin that was in it, so I am currently rewriting the story. But I thought I'd publish that anyway. I'll try to update soon and go back to my original rythm**

A week has passed since Alice and I made love, a week in which I've barely seen her. They are training, or so I have been told... I am angry, angry that she won't tell me what's happening! Angry because I miss her! Angry! But more than anything I am scared; scared because my first love, my only love, the only one for me is going to fight for her life and there is nothing I can do to help.

Sure I have tried to get Alice to talk about my transformation, but she always avoid the conversation by being her cute self, I let go, but not tonight, tonight I won't let it go. I hope.

Alice is coming to pick me up, so I can spend the week-end with her and the Cullen's, Emmett is having my back, he sent me a text telling me that all the family was trying to convince Alice that turning me is the good thing to do, that it's the only thing to do. But my pixie is a stubborn, and the truth is I wouldn't have her any other way.

I was ready and waiting on the porch, Alice was on time, like she always is. I hopped in and kissed her, How much I missed her lips! I think I am addicted to them, like kids to chocolate...

"I missed you too" she smiled as she started the engine.

"I've never said I missed you" I teased

"Please your lips did" she laughed adorably

Who in their right mi,d would want to hurt her, that's the thing though Jane wasn't in her right mind and as far as I am concerned insanity is not good enough to keep her from death sentence.

"How is the training going?" I asked

"well, it is hard and the boys are doing their best to play with my gift, so I can't even rely on it anymore" she sighed

"Well, good because Jane knows about your gift and she sure as hell must have trained to beat it too"

"You sound like Carlisle, it's kind of scary" she laughed

"Well, then little Alice Cullen, you are going to train harder or you'll be punished"

She laughed, it's good to hear her laugh again, it's more natural, I think my fighter of a girlfriend has hope again.

"You know sometimes I wonder if my parents loved me as much as Carlisle and Esmee do. I mean as much as I act like it's in the past it still hurts sometimes"

Alice didn't talk much about her past, it was kind of a secret dark place within her.

"They were stupid Alice you are a wonderful person, they shouldn't have treated you so poorly"

"Thank you"

" you're welcome, my love"

"Bella, I know what Emmett told you, I saw him telling you"

I replied with silence, was there anything I could say anyway...

"I don't want him to change you" she said her voice shaking

Again I couldn't voice anything..

"I can't have you leaving your family, your youth, your old days, your desire for kids, I can't let you give that all up just for me" she said

"Alice, I'd give up so much more for you, but I am not doing this just for you I am doing it for me. Asking you to turn me is one of the most selfish things I've ever done" I stated

"How is that?" she asked

"I love you, I can't stand the thought of growing old, of being mortal, of loosing you. Alice you need to make me like you, not because I want to be with you forever, because I need to be with you forever. Of course I am scared of loosing Charlie and Renee, but it's not a permanent loss, just the time to handle my thirst even if it takes a decade, and even if I'll never see them again, they're parents all they want is for me to be happy, and there is nothing in this world and none who makes me happier than you. As for kids, my love you are enough kids to have for a-"

She cut me by a playful slap on the shoulder

"I am not a kid!" she pouted

"yes, you are!" I laughed "But seriously Alice, I don't want Emmett to do it either I want it to be you, but if Emmett still want to and you still refuse me I'll accept his offer, not because I don't care for you, but because I do. I care"

She didn't answer...

"Alice what are you so scared of?"

"Fine, I'll tell you" she took a deep unnecessary breath "Bella when I woke up, I didn't remember anything about my human life, I might've had a boyfriend or a girlfriend that I love but everything was black, what if you wake up and don't remember me, what if you just forget me. And I know it's awful to say that because my greatest fear should be that I kill you, but I know I won't I am unable to hurt you even if I wanted to. I should be terrified that one day you'll regret your decision, but all that scares me that keeps going in my mind my only terrible thought is that you forget me and that you'll realize that I am not the one for you and you'll leave because you won't even remember how much I love you, how much I can't live without you" she said that quickly.

_It all hit me like bricks! _ I should've thought about it I should've figured it out.

"Alice Cullen, listen to me very carefully, It won't happen none of your siblings lost memory. And even if I did it'll take me one glance at you to remember my love for you Alice, because that's exactly what happens every time I see you I fall in love all over again. I understand your fear Alice, I really do, and I wish I could take it all away for you, but I can't all I can do is tell you Alice Cullen there is not a single version of me, that won't fall in love with you. Plus I am your mate, therefore at the second the vampire me will see you I'll know that we are meant to be"

She smiled a little

"Okay then" she said

"What do you mean okay?" I asked unsure

"Okay I'll change you, you'll be like me Bella"

"Are you serious?" I said happiness enveloping me

"Yes, why you don't want me to be?"

"No, yes I mean Alice it means the world to me that you accepted I was starting to feel like maybe you didn't want me at your side forever"

"Bella, there is none I'd rather have by my side" she reassured me "Now we still need to discuss the details"

"What details?"

"When, where, how and much more" she smiled

"Having you agreeing was the hardest thing anyway" I smiled

"I don't think so, not when my whole family shared your vision" she smiled

"I am sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable" I said

I don't really know how she'd take her family being on my side

"Are you kidding, you guys ganging up on me is like a dream come true" she laughed

Her tone was one of fun but there was no sarcasm in her words...

We arrived at the Cullen's house, I was ready for the upcoming conversation. We will find the right organization of that I was sure.


End file.
